HIS Amazing Grace

Wordless Wednesday -- New Hat!

2012-02-15T13:44:00.000-08:00

My girl and her NEW hat. She loves it.

Gratitude

2012-02-15T10:22:00.000-08:00

This my friends may be hard for some of you to read. I hope you plug on through and try, just try to understand my heart and where I am coming from. I have been pregnant four times. Yes four. I have not once brought that baby home from the hospital with me. I do not have five kids to care for at home. Instead, I have four babies in heaven with their Grampie, a grave for my son and the label of "infertile". I am not looking for sympathy or trying to make any of you feel guilty. I am simply sharing my heart. Infertility and pregnancy loss is not an easy thing to talk about for most. For me, it's simple. It's my life. It's my testimony. It's why I am the way I am. Am I sad that my body is not able to carry my children. Yes. Do I cry? Yes. Is it hard for me to understand? Yes.

To be pregnant, let's face it, to get pregnant is a miracle. Not just for me. For any woman. Do you know, seriously know, how the female body works? What all has to fall in place for a woman to conceive during the small window in which this can happen during her cycle? Just a sidenote: if you don't...you should read "Taking Charge of your Fertility". It lays it all out for you. A miracle. That's right. Let's go back to that. Maybe losing babies makes you more aware of this. But, I'm telling each and every one of you...it shouldn't. Again I say, to be pregnant is a miracle. I know being pregnant is not fun for some. And I think most women would agree that it's work. Hard work. In the beginning you're tired, nauseous, crabby and even more crabby(!)....ask my husband about that! No. On second thought you better not. You have indigestion and gas. Your guts are moving up to provide room. Your hormones are running a muck and you are growing a little person inside your belly. Seriously. This is amazing. The first moment you see that little peanut via ultrasound with it's itty bitty heart beating it's all worth it. You cry. As you get further along, your back begins hurting. You're carrying around more weight and the more weight you put on your belly the more you feel it on your back. This makes you more crabby. You visit the Chiropractor and the Massage Therapist, looking for relief. But, it's part of carrying your miracle. Did I have back pain? YES. Was I uncomfortable? YES. As your belly gets bigger your muscles hurt as they stretch. And I only carried Elliott for 19 weeks. I can't imagine what my back would have felt like when I was 38 weeks or 40+ weeks.

I can tell you how grateful I am. That our Jesus gave us Elliott. That I carried him for 19 weeks. Moving and kicking in my belly. I feel so privileged. So thankful. So full of gratitude. Even for the nausea, tiredness and back pain. Because of this I feel sad. Sad for women I see complaining openly about their aches and pains while they are pregnant. Sharing with everyone they know how "done they are" with carrying their miracle. It hurts my heart so. I long for them to see the gratitude in their pregnancy. To know the thankfulness Jesus has given me. To realize the gift growing inside them. If you asked my friends who are pregnant now and have been before they would share my feelings. They have spent time with me. They know my heart. They have aches and pains like I did. Wouldn't it be better if you focused on the good? The grateful? Count down the days until you deliver with happiness? And get to hold your son or daughter? That you get to have your baby inside of you still? Growing and moving? Kicking you to remind you he/she is there? I sure think so.

Happy Valentine's Day....

2012-02-14T19:14:00.000-08:00

From the cutest little brown girl EVER!

Anxiety, Fear and the Devil

2012-02-03T20:55:00.000-08:00

Since the first of the year, Aaron and I have made changes in our quiet time...we actually have it now. Before, it seemed we just couldn't find the time. I work 32 hours a week in three days. That means I'm at work by 6am and usually I don't get home until about 6pm. When I get home...Halle needs dinner right away and Mommy and Daddy need to eat too. Bed time comes shortly after and if I am working the next day I need to get all Halle's stuff ready for the next day and mine too. I'm busy. So is Aaron. But, we were using our busyness as an excuse. We are making the time to read our bibles and study the word. It's becoming a habit for us and I'm so thankful. I won't tell you it's been easy, because sadly it hasn't. I have been in such a spiritual battle. This past week I experienced more anxiety and fear than I have in probably 7 years. It was paralyzing me. Have any of you experienced this?? My word. It stinks. After a few days of battling this on my own I approached Aaron and shared with him what I was going through. I am so thankful that my Husband is a Man of God, full of prayer. I know when I ask him to pray for me, he does. I can feel it. My entire thought process has changed since Elliott. Being more bold in my faith is causing the mean ol' devil to take notice of things I'm doing. How I'm speaking out, sharing my faith...even the words I type on this blog.

Not long after Aaron and I were first married I went through a really rough time. I had so much fear and anxiety...and depression. My Dad was fighting for his life, battling his way through cancer and I had a lot of health issues I was dealing with. It was hard enough for me to get out of bed, let alone go to work. I prayed a lot. This scripture became my lifeline: Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus....Philippians 4:6-7, NIV And this was a very close second: For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind....2 Timothy 1:7, NKJ I have grown up in the church. In a spirit filled, hand raising, speaking in tongues church. One where people have "fallen in the spirit" after being prayed for. One where words of prophesy were prevalent. I think you're getting the picture. I know what a spiritual battle is. I knew then and now that I was going through one. How do you come against this? Pray without ceasing. Bury yourself deeper in the word. Sing praises to our Jesus, pray in the spirit. Do not believe what the devil is telling you. He is a liar, pure and simple. He came to steal and destroy....Our Jesus came to bring us life....more abundantly. And, that mean ol' devil will not destroy me. Folks we are in a spiritual battle. It's time to put on the full armor of God.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all of this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Epeshians 6:10-18

Adoption Fund

2012-01-29T20:20:00.000-08:00

It's time folks. We will be starting the process again soon to adopt. Without a shadow of a doubt, we know our Jesus has called us to do this again. We are extremely excited and can not wait to fill our home with another sweet little person. How can you help? As we walk this journey again we will need lots and lots of support and prayer. We are calling all prayer warriors to stand by us and uphold us. The ups and downs of adoption can be somewhat daunting. With the unexpected bills from my hospital stay and Elliott's burial costs we are strapped financially. But, we have faith that God will bring us the funds we need. If you would like to help out in this way I have updated the Paypal link on the sidebar of our blog....you do not need a Paypal account and may donate by credit card if you wish. If you choose to remain anonymous (Paypal does not allow for this), but...would like to help out you can also mail a check (please reference our name in the note field) directly to our Adoption Agency at the address here:

Christian Homes and Family Services
Attn: Margaret Ballew
1202 Estates Dr.
Abilene, TX 79602

Thank you for your continued love and support. We appreciate each and every one of you. Stay tuned for some adoption fundraisers...namely tutus and personalized t-shirts!

Jesus and the Boat

2012-01-25T11:50:00.000-08:00

Can I just tell you how very much I love this little picture?? With it comes a story. On Sunday we went to pick Halle up from her Sunday School Class....she, like always, runs up to meet us callling "Mommy, Daddy!". I love that this never gets old for her....She never tires of greeting us after we've been away. Even for a short time. On this morning, she handed me the above picture. I looked at it and asked her what it was. Her answer was simple. Jesus and a boat. I then asked what Jesus was doing. "Walking on the water!" She answered with such passion and excitement...and even jumped up and down clapping her hands. This I also LOVE. She is such a passionate, right on kind-of-girl. Inside and out I was beaming. Our little girl was listening, she was getting this thing we call faith. Understanding the reason why we go to this place called church.

Resting in Him

2012-01-06T23:11:00.000-08:00

When Aaron and I began trying to conceive (ttc) about 1 1/2 years after we were married I felt kind of lost. I knew it probably wouldn't be an easy task. It had taken my Mom some time to get pregnant with me, my cycles were wonky to say the least and everyone around me seemed to simply blink and they were expecting. I turned to the internet. I can't remember why, or who told me to, but I decided it would be a good idea to chart my cycles using a basal body thermometer. I devoured this book. By the way, as a side note...this book should be required material for any woman in her twenties whether or not she is TTC. It is incredible. Never have I learned more about how my body works. I could tell you all my tricks of the trade, but...read it for yourself. It's a good one to have in your library. I searched the internet and found a website called Fertility Friend. I charted my cycle there as it was much easier than on paper. Through that website I found Two Week Wait. It was there I found a group of Christian women who were in the very same place that I was. We all shared our faith and TTC. Little did I know these women would be part of my life for years to come. It's amazing to me how our Jesus brought us all together. He orchestrated this perfectly. The founder of the website Two Week Wait lives in Austin, TX...as do many other women in this very group. We currently have a private Facebook group with 18 of the very same women that I began this group with some 6 years (I'm guessing) ago. WOW. These women have lifted me up when I've been so down. They prayed me through infertility, the death of my Dad, three miscarriages and Elliott's graduation day. They were the first people I told I was pregnant each and every time...except for Aaron of course! They probably know more about me than most of my very close friends. AND...I have only met TWO of them in person.

When we flew to Texas to pick up our sweet Halle girl, Rachel who I only knew from Two Week Wait offered her home to Aaron, Halle and I. Wow. I remember when she called me up and talked with me for the very first time. I felt like I'd known her forever. It was as if she was one of my closest friends. And you know what?? She is. During my pregnancy with Elliott and all the complications and his delivery she covered me in prayer. I know without a shadow of a doubt she did. She called many times during our crisis and just talked with me. About Elliott, about his birth....asked me what he looked like. Cried with me. I love her and I've only spent one week of my life with her face-to-face. When we were in Texas I also met Elle, the founder of Two Week Wait who has Ella Bella Photography, and still a member of "Resting in Him". She generously took amazing photos of Halle one of the first days she was placed with us. When Elliott passed away this amazing group of women not only sent us flowers, but....two days later I received a box of GIGANTIC chocolate covered strawberries with a note simply saying...we all need some chocolate. AND...now one of my most treasured possessions. This beautiful necklace made especially for me with not only Halle, but....Elliott's name as well. If you are in a similar place in life that I was in I encourage you to reach out to others. Find a place where you can share your struggles and triumphs. Where others know what you are going through....a place like Two Week Wait. More than that, I encourage you to be honest and forthright. To share with your friends and family, if you feel comfortable doing so...let them know what you are going through. It helps so much for them to know how to approach you. More than that, I'm available if you need someone to e-mail or talk to. Leave me a comment here. I honestly don't know how many or who reads my blog. I would love to "meet" you so to speak, pray for you and stand with you as you walk the unknown, most likely, bumpy road of trying to grow your family while dealing with infertility. And to my Resting in Him girls...Yes, our Jesus knew what he was doing. I'm so very thankful for each and every one of you.

Rachel (dark hair) with her son Hudson, Elle holding Hunter & her son Hayden next to Halle.

One of the amazing photos Elle took of Halle. I can't believe she was ever this small. Sigh.

Those GIGANTIC chocolate covered strawberries.

My necklace as Halle reads it...."Love, Halle & Elliott". I say perfect.

Sharing HIS Blessing

2011-12-30T11:19:00.000-08:00

This year when sending out our Christmas letter I sent it to almost everyone. I wanted each and everyone of you to know about Elliott. To hear his story. To know why we are the way we are. I believe that's part of being bold and courageous...sharing how our faith has carried us through this extraordinary journey. Over Christmas numerous friends and relatives have shared with me how the letter has touched them. How they read it with tears in their eyes and in a lump in their throats. Aaron and I have accepted many extra hugs and kisses and "I'm so sorry" has been shared with us more times than I can count. And we greatly appreciate this. We've had two offers from amazing women who wanted nothing more than to carry our baby for us. Being a surrogate Mommy. WOW. The same day I had the first offer for surrogacy a dear friend of mine offered money for our adoption. That literally brought me to tears. Offering to give what little extra they had. I didn't send out that letter for pity. I only wanted to share what words Jesus gave me to share. Our testimony. Elliott's short yet, so meaningful life on earth.

On Christmas Eve, my Aunt shared with me how her brother had picked up that letter and after reading it let her know what an impact it had had on him. He shared with her how "it put everything into perspective". I saw her brother a few days later and he thanked me for writing my words. He explained how it had made his Christmas...in fact, it had made his week. He ended his conversation with these two words, "Be blessed". AND you know what....we are. I shared with him how I had hoped it would minister to those who read it. Another friend of mine shared our testimony with her Mom's bible study group. When she received our letter she asked if it would be all right if she shared the letter with the same group?? I did not hesitate. If this letter ministers to just one person I have done my job sharing the love of Jesus through sweet Elliott's birth. And that is exactly what I had prayed for. If you haven't read our letter you can find it here. Be blessed.

Wordless Wednesday -- Family at it's Finest

2011-12-28T13:44:00.000-08:00

Our silly Family....it doesn't get any better than this!

Grief through the Holidays

2011-12-27T14:00:00.000-08:00

I read Jessica Turner's blog "The Mom Creative". Her blog is choked full of fabulous deals....it's where I get my coupon codes for Paper Coterie to make Memory Keepers and photo books...and browse the Day Spring deals....she also is a fabulous scrap booker and memory maker! I was just reading through some of her previous posts and came across this one all about grief and getting through the holidays. If you, like my family, have experienced great loss this year.....or, if you also are experiencing infertility this is a great read.

ps....want extra fabulous deals?? "Like" The Mom Creative on Facebook!

Wrestling

2011-12-23T13:07:00.000-08:00

In my mind lately I've been wrestling with a few things. Praying through them...talking with Aaron. After, I decided this was silly and why was I keeping this all inside when my husband may very well feel the same way? I needed to talk with Jesus....and rest in HIM. I'm sure you're wondering what I've been wrestling with. Well, should we or should we not try again to grow our family the conventional way....with me carrying that baby in my belly? Right after Elliott I was so ready to be done...and move on to adoption. We even had a phone conversation with our adoption agency. We were ready. I don't know what happened after that. I'm guessing it was that mean old doubt. Creeping in. Who was I to decide what God was going to do in our lives?? Did we have a right to make this decision? Would others think we were selfish? Are we without faith? I read blogs of women who had lost their first babies near the same time as me and now were pregnant again. They were required to be on bed rest for enormous amounts of time, living near hospitals. This could be me. Could I do that?? Leave my home, my daughter, my husband and my job? Just to carry our child knowing even that may not work. The more I thought about it the more I wrestled. Did I want to be pregnant again? Holding my breath for the first 12, but more likely, 20 weeks? Would I have gestational diabetes again? Could I even get pregnant?

Finally, last Saturday I sat down and talked with Aaron. I approached the subject with a big lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. "Are we making the right choice? Should we stop trying?" His answer was quick and without hesitation. "Yes." He then explained that Jesus had spoken clearly to him a few Sundays ago at church. Our Pastor had been talking about an impromptu offering we had taken specifically for orphans....to feed them, as the cost of this had gone up hugely and the organization that did so was very short of funds. That Sunday we raised thousands of dollars for this very cause. We gave money to that offering because Jesus had prompted Aaron to get cash back when at the bank a few days before that. While our Pastor stood before the congregation thanking them our Jesus whispered to Aaron, "I'm proud of you both and the choices you have made...choosing adoption." I'm paraphrasing here as Aaron did when telling me, but...that was definitely the gist of the conversation. The next day we went to church and it felt like signs from Jesus were everywhere. Our Pastor mentioned adoption many times in his message. But, he was speaking about how God adopted us into his family. To me that was all I needed. I knew without a shadow of a doubt what our Jesus wanted us to do.

We are passionate about adoption. Not just because we are unable to carry biological children. This is not just another means for us to grow our family. As Christians, we all should be....Jesus clearly tell us to in James 1:27. Just yesterday we received a newsletter from our adoption agency. I poured over it and read how adoption had changed many lives. I hope to share with you some of those stories. As we approach CHRISTmas in two days, I am in awe of our Savior and all He has done for us. Ever mindful that it all began with a little baby boy. Our Jesus.

CHRISTmas Letter 2011

2011-12-17T14:22:00.001-08:00

This is the letter I sent along with our Christmas card this year. Enjoy!!

Hello Dear Friends and Family,

We hope this finds all of you well, happy & blessed! I’m going to change it up a little so….this will not follow the typical Christmas letter format you’ve been used to. Trust me when I say change is good! This year has been extraordinary in many ways. Halle is growing by leaps and bounds and still the light of our lives. This silly little girl never ceases to amaze Aaron and I with her singing, dancing, quick wit and sweet spirit. She is such a gift! She started Pre-School/Day Care at the Gingerbread House this year two days a week and absolutely loves it! She loves her teachers and is always talking about all her little friends there. Not long ago, Halle had her first sleepover with her Grammie & Titi (April’s sister) and a few short weeks ago she stayed over at Papa & Nana’s, of course, she loved it so much she didn’t want to come home.

I know most of you know our struggles with infertility that led us to adoption and our sweet Halle girl. In July, Aaron and I were ecstatic to find out I was pregnant and due in March. We approached this new journey very cautiously, with lots and lots of prayer. Having three previous miscarriages will do that to you. As I neared the second trimester we felt like we could finally breathe and enjoy the precious life Jesus was knitting together in my womb. I began to experience some complications at a few days shy of nineteen weeks that led to Doctor’s appointments, unexpected ultrasounds and a trip to the University of Washington Medical Center. It was then we learned our precious gift was a little boy, who we chose to name Elliott Aamodt. We do not know why, but these complications, unfortunately, caused my cervix to open up early and Elliott was born on October 13, almost five months too soon. You may not think extraordinary is a word to describe what we have experienced. I would ask you to re-think that. Our Jesus gave us a precious, unforgettable gift in the form of our little, tiny 10.4 oz boy that was just 9 ½” long. From the moment Elliott was conceived our Jesus knew the plans He had for him. Plans for greatness. Plans to teach others about His love. As Aaron and I reflect on the days following Elliott’s birth, one word always comes to mind faithful. Our Jesus has been so, so faithful. We have grown so much spiritually because of Elliott. I have become bold and courageous to share my faith, for it is the only reason I have made it through this trial. Without our Jesus we would not be able to live this life without our son. We know without a shadow of a doubt where our son is. We know we will see him one day. We also know that Jesus does not promise us a world without trials and tribulations. “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

2 Corinthians 4:16-18, NIV

This Christmas finds us loving our Jesus more and more everyday. We are finding such joy in seeing Halle’s love for this season and trying to remind her daily that Jesus is truly the reason for the season. We pray you will experience Jesus this CHRISTmas as you never have before!

Blessings,

April for all three of us J

I have kept our blog updated through this time and would love for you all to follow our continued journey there. You can find it here: www.aaronandapril.blogspot.com

Prayers Answered

2011-12-17T13:50:00.000-08:00

I have waited an incredible amount of time for one of these to be placed on my fridge. I consider these a "stamp of Mommy approval". When I was in High School and Middle School for that matter I taught the 2-3 year old Sunday School class at my church. Later after I graduated from High School I taught Pre-School for two years....I so envied those Mommy's receiving their treasured artwork from their son or daughter. I could not wait for the day I would be a Mommy and have artwork to put on my fridge. My road to motherhood has been ever so long and quite bumpy at times, but...when my girl brings home these treasures I melt. I will display these proudly for all to see. Yes, my fridge may look messy and I might need to buy more magnets, but...my heart is full and Halle is so very excited when she gets to see these everyday.

This Thursday Halle had her very first Christmas Program at our church. Of course, with all the kids it was so hard to see our girl. Yes, I was that Mommy that grabbed her camera to trek to the other side of the church just to get a better view. I'm so glad I did. I will tell you it was hard to hold the camera, take pictures and control the tears from flowing. Little kids in Christmas Programs have always made me emotional....now that I have my own little girl in the mix I was even more so. WOW. Our Jesus is so faithful. Sometimes, it felt like I would never have a Christmas Program to attend as a Mommy. When she was singing those songs and doing every.single.motion. my heart was bursting with pride for my little girl. AND...she's pretty cute if I do say so myself. I was so glad the dress her Foster Mommy made her last year still fit. It was perfect. And yesterday Halle wanted to do the very same thing all.over.again. I love that girl!

Easy??

2011-12-16T11:36:00.000-08:00

Tuesday this week marked two whole months since we had said good-bye to our sweet Elliott. I have to be honest and say I didn't even think of it...until about 4pm that day while I was sitting at my desk at work. Then it suddenly hit me. It was December 13. Two months ago I held my sweet boy for the first time and said good-bye to him as he joined his Grampie in heaven. Even now, it so very fresh in my mind. I'm sad. My heart is heavy. Others around me are pregnant and I'm so very happy and excited for them. I truly, truly am. So, dear friends and sweet sister-in-law if you are reading this....please, please do not think you must hide from me your joy of expecting another gift into your family. New life is precious. So very so. And...a miracle straight from our Jesus...whether those gifts are planned or not. In fact, surprises are the very best. Elliott was a huge surprise to us. Maybe that's why it so very hard to grasp what is Jesus is planning here. The plans he has for our family....I know they are good and just. I know they are BIG. Here again is where patience comes in. Over and over our family has been hit with trials and tribulations. So, when my husband was holding me as I sobbed on Tuesday night and my sweet little girl was asking me if I was sad because I missed Jesus (She has Christmas and Jesus on her brain...and that is fine by me!)....I wondered aloud "why can't anything be easy for us?" I just can't get that part. I watch as others around me are blessed beyond measure with a quiver-full....while we struggle to grow or family by one.

After our third miscarriage I was so ready to stop the whole trying-to-conceive roller coaster...no more Dr's visits, infertility drugs or tears. I had definitely prayed through all my feelings of "needing" to have a biological child. Aaron and I had cried many, many tears over the loss of our three babies. And talked much about our next step. We joked as we filled out adoption paperwork where it asked about race. To us, it did not matter...could we put purple? Do you see my point? Our arms ached to be filled with a little, breathing person. One that Jesus had picked just for us. It did not matter that this baby could very well be brown, have curly, curly hair and wouldn't look a thing like either one of us. Now, we are coming to the place again in our lives. I, personally, am having to pray through those very same feelings again. I'm not going to lie. It's a very, very hard place to be. I know my Jesus made me to be a Mommy...and my arms ache with wanting to hold a child. My child. Let me just say I don't differentiate between biological and adopted. Both Halle and Elliott are my children. One grew in my heart and the other grew in my belly. I want to smell that sweet baby smell and wash those cute, tiny clothes. And you know what? I want a little boy. Our girl needs a little brother, my husband needs someone to work in the garage with and pass his Bronco on to....a little boy to learn about tube amps and guitars....how everything works. Yes, Halle does love her Daddy's Bronco and she would probably work in the garage, gladly. She will do anything if it includes spending uninterrupted time with her Daddy. But, you understand my point. I have his name picked out and I'm praying for him, specifically. Jesus knows the desires of my heart. But, that doesn't make this any easier. Adoption involves much cost and prayer. The first we don't have much of, thankfully, the last we have lots and lots of, along with friends and family that will come along side us. We spoke with our Adoption Agency last week and were encouraged by our sweet, kind contact Margaret. But, the fact still remains....it will cost us money that we don't have to bring home our sweet baby. This is how Jesus wants us to grow our family and we will gladly walk this road again....because he has asked us to do so.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" James 1:27

Wordless Wednesday -- Christmas...with a Three Year Old

2011-12-14T18:36:00.000-08:00

We love how Halle is really understanding Christmas this year. You should know the kitty, yarn & random toys are no longer in our tree!

Wordless Wednesday--Our Sweet Elliott

2011-12-07T16:54:00.000-08:00

A few more photos for you to enjoy. Our precious little boy.....this will give you a better idea of what size he actually was. I am holding him in the middle picture. AND...the bottom he has his Daddy's ring on his hand. Again, I am reminded of how Jesus knits these precious gifts together in our womb's. We serve a truly amazing Heavenly Father. WOW.

Memorial Tats

2011-12-02T15:41:00.000-08:00

Yes, we did it. In honor of our son, both Aaron and I got tattoos last friday. Which just also happened to be the anniversary of my Dad's heavenly graduation. Yes, the footprints are true to size....and the three hibiscus represent the other three miscarriages I had. The verse is significant to me because without a shadow of a doubt I believe all my babies were a gift....straight from our Jesus. And...their sister Halle also has a sign in her bedroom with James 1:17 on it. "Laus Deo" means "Praise be to God" in Latin....Aaron has had this phrase on a post-it-note attached to our printer for months now. I think even before we found out I was pregnant. It is so important to him. Just because my husband is creative and all that stuff, he designed both of these tattoos. Did I mention I love him very much for doing this? It is definitely his way of processing October 13 and the days that lead up to it. You know what? We will show these off proudly.....and what a testimony. I have already ministered to many with these tattoos.....do I believe Jesus works through these?? You bet I do! And...my Dad would be proud!

Our Son

2011-11-30T11:37:00.000-08:00

Let me take a moment and introduce you to our Son....Elliott Aamdot. It's important to me that I do this. He is still our son even though he's not here with us. And we want all of you, those we love to know him just as we do. Last week we got his pictures back from the photographer. Oh.My.Word. What an incredible job she did. This is my very favorite one. Why? Because I can see his sweet button nose and that little mouth. After studying this multiple times....I can see pieces of Aaron and I in our precious gift. His nose, could be like his Titi's (my sister, Amber...she has a button nose), but...then again, the Benner's also have cute button noses like Elliott's cousin Hayden. And his mouth...every.single.time. I look at it I see his Daddy. And...this face he's making is also just like his Daddy. I'm so very thankful for the way Jesus is showing me these things. When I looked at him on the day he was born it was hard to tell if he looked like either one of us. He was so little and I was so caught up in the moment...seeing this precious life that I had carried for 19 weeks...that Jesus had knit together in my womb. How simply amazing. I don't know how anyone could look at this picture of our Elliott at just 19 weeks gestation and not know that a human life is a miracle. One we should never ever take for granted. Only our Jesus could make something as precious as this. Let that sink in. From the very moment Elliott was conceived our Jesus knew him and the plans He had for his life. Plans of greatness. Plans to teach other's about the love of Jesus. I am so thankful for this.

Thankful

2011-11-23T15:09:00.000-08:00

As the days move on things are becoming more normal at our house. We are living and enjoying every day. Remembering to be thankful, thankful for those 19 weeks Elliott was in our lives. Thankful we got to hold him and count all his fingers and toes. Thankful we will receive his pictures today. Thankful that my co-workers are letting me talk about Elliott and love to hear about him and his birth. Thankful that November is National Adoption Month and the very month that our Halle came to live with us. Thankful that our dear friend Rachel is pregnant with a little boy after many, many years of trying. She and her husband, David and their son Hudson hold a very special place in our hearts. We stayed with them in Austin, TX when we picked up Halle. Thankful our friends and family are helping us search for the "perfect" gift for Halle...the Leap Frog Leappad Explorer Tablet. They are, unfortunately, sold out every where. Our hearts are healing slowly and we are aiming to be more intentional with our time and those we spend our time with. Aaron and I are both looking forward to our appointment on Friday to get memorial tattoos celebrating Elliott and for me....the other three babies that are in Heaven with our Jesus. The month of November holds many happy memories for us...the phone call from our adoption agency to let us know that we had been chosen to be Halle's Parent's, booking our plane tickets, flying to Tyler, Texas, meeting Halle and her Mommy Michelle, not to mention her fabulous Foster Family the Jones', staying with the Clark's who we had never met until the day we arrived at their house. We instantly became fast friends.....knowing our Jesus brought us together for a reason. The culmination of that week was flying home to arrive early on Thanksgiving morning with time to sleep and head out to spend the day with our family. The best part of that day?? Introducing them to our daughter, Halle Grace.

But, this month is also bittersweet. My Dad graduated to Heaven on November 25, just five years ago. I know he is happy and whole, praising His Jesus and taking care of all my babies, but...that doesn't stop the sting, the hurt and the longing. I know if he was here he would have so many faith-filled words of encouragement for Aaron and I. I know he would race around with Halle and make her laugh, he'd probably teach her how to play all things sport related. He would understand my struggle I'm having right now. Yes, I'm still trying to understand why, if Elliott was going to heaven, did Jesus allow me to become pregnant? I don't know if all of you know our history of infertility. Never before was I able to conceive without infertility drugs. Never. In November 2010 I felt Jesus was telling me to just trust Him and have faith. So we stopped using birth control and 6 months later I found out I was pregnant with Elliott. Our Jesus works in miracles....and Elliott was just that. I have a close friend that I called when I found out I was pregnant. She had been having a rough go of things, her Aunt had recently passed away unexpectedly and her cousin (her Aunt's daughter) who is also a classmate of mine, had just found out she had breast cancer at 36. Not easy things to take. I knew she needed some happy news. She was ecstatic when I told her our news. Now, she like me is really struggling with the why's. She hugged me at church a few Sunday's ago with tears in her eyes. Telling me she just didn't know what to say. Sharing that she was having a hard time processing this. You know what? I love that about my friends. They are honest and forthright. I am so glad she told me that.

The message series at our church has been "Honest Answers for Hard Questions". It has been so very good. The other night I was reading my bible, going over some scripture I had marked during the message series. It was hitting me right between the eyes. Everything, I do mean everything I was reading was quietly saying patience. comfort. faith. perseverance. Wow! Aaron and I are often reminded of these things. And we often think we have patience. Sheesh, God has been working on that with us for at least six years. You would think he was done teaching us. Apparently not. It's becoming clear He is teaching us many things through our sweet Elliott. And you know what? I'm also very thankful for that. So, on this Thanksgiving Eve, would you join me in practicing thankfulness? I'm certain there is at least one thing you can be thankful for. If not, be thankful for Jesus and his unending faithfulness. I know I am.

One month....

2011-11-10T07:00:00.000-08:00

One month ago today at 4:50pm I gave birth to our son, Elliott Aamodt. Do I miss him?? Of course I do. Do I remember him, most definitely. Today I'm remembering him so fondly. Wishing I could just hold him again....count his fingers and his little toes. Kiss his little button nose. But, he is in heaven with my Jesus and his Grampie. Yesterday, was kind of a sad day. I knew Aaron was all set to go to "Pipe Club" with his buddies. I also knew, and remembered that the last time he went was the fateful night/early morning that I coughed when getting into bed and felt that gush of blood...this led to our trip to the ER and eventually the delivery of sweet Elliott. So, it was bittersweet for Aaron....spending time with his friends, enjoying their company and remembering what happened that last time. When he got home from work last night I asked how his day had been....he told me he was sad. Sad remembering that it had been one month.

I'm sad that Elliott is no longer here on earth. But, I've decided I'm so glad he was born in the fall. Fall is my most favorite time of the year. I love, love, love the changing leaves, the crisp fall days and the smell of all things spicy and pumpkin. Eggnog latte's arrive and so does Starbuck's "Pumpkin Spice". I will always remember this time of year as Elliott's time. October 13 will be etched in my mind forever. The day I became a Mommy again. Now, when I see the leaves changing color and the days getting shorter and colder. Elliott will definitely be in the forefront of my mind. What a sweet reminder for me. That night seems like just yesterday. When I close my eyes, unfortunately, it all comes back to me. The phone call to my Mom to stay with Halle, the trip in the car to the ER, the Dr. telling me "Looks like you're having a miscarriage"....the cold harsh reality that I was going to give birth to our son that day.....four months too soon. So, there you have it. Here is how we are doing one.month.later. If you asked me today, "How are you?" Because that seems to be the question of the hour...I would say "good". Three weeks ago I would have said, "ok". It's getting better. I cry less....I'm still grieving....I still miss my son....my arms still ache without him in them. But, I'm thankful, still so very thankful I carried him for 19 weeks.....11 weeks longer than I had carried any baby before. I felt him move...all over the place (he was a mover & shaker...and did not like to be still).....I experienced childbirth and I get to see my sweet Elliott Aamodt again!

Wordless Wednesday--Meeting Halle for the FIRST time!

2011-11-09T15:53:00.000-08:00

As long as I live I will not forget this moment. It's frozen in my mind....the look on Halle's face as her Daddy held her. Believe you me, she loves her Daddy with every ounce in her body! He is her hero....November 19 is National Adoption Day and November is the month in which Halle came to live with us just three years ago. This month brings back so many exciting, extraordinary memories for me. I want to celebrate Halle and the the life her Mommy Michelle gave her. We are so thankful for the gift of adoption!

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" James 1:27

Just Because

2011-11-06T09:26:00.000-08:00

I'm very thankful for this little brown girl in her penguin jammies loving on her pillow pet!!

Bold and Courageous

2011-11-04T12:55:00.000-07:00

Last weekend....I read this book by an extraordinary women named Angie Smith. Wow. This book knocked my socks off. It was exactly what I needed at this time. I have been following Angie's blog since 2008 when they began to tell their story of sweet Audrey Caroline....she too is heaven with our Elliott Aamodt. Before Elliott graduated to Heaven, Aaron and I had suffered three early (8 weeks or before) miscarriages...so, when "I will Carry You" came out I chose not to read it. I didn't think I needed it...at the time our situations were different. The week after I delivered our boy I knew I needed this book. As I sat in the bath tub while Halle slept and my husband "tinkered"in the garage (he loves to do this!) I laughed cried & prayed all because of this book and how Jesus was working through Angie and her writing. I found myself identifying with her in an uncanny way. She had carried Audrey longer than I carried Elliott, but....we both left the hospital empty-handed without our sweet babies who had went on to be with Jesus. This book is so faith filled and stuffed with scripture, but...in a way that I can follow and understand.

In the book Angie talks about how Audrey made her strong and able to do things she would have never done before. I really don't want to give everything away in case you too decide to read this book. And...my friend you should. If you have ever experienced a loss of a child or if you know someone who has please do yourself and your friend a favor...pick this up. I knew exactly what she was talking about. Delivering Elliott has made me stronger, more bold and certainly courageous. I know it was not a coincidence that the Saturday before Elliott arrived Aaron and I went to see the movie "Courageous". Though nothing could prepare us to say good-bye to our son before we got to say hello this movie gave us the added faith boost we needed. Angie writes about having such a peace upon entering the hospital for her scheduled c-section with Audrey. I too felt that. I did not like hospitals and the whole time I was pregnant I was so nervous to give birth. My Dad was 53 when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer that had already spread to his bones and his prognosis was not good. He spent A LOT of time in that hospital and that is what I had remembered. It scared me. Make no mistake that Jesus gave me that sense of calm I needed on October 13 to deliver our son. HE carried me. I'm not asking you to understand this I'm only asking you to consider it. How else could I do what I did??

I have never been one to be bold and courageous when speaking of my faith and love of Jesus. I'm very, very sad to admit this. My Parents taught me at a very early age what it means to love Jesus and when I was just seven I asked Him to live in my heart. I grew up in a Christian home attending church on Sunday's and taking part in all church activities. This is what we did. This is what I knew. When my Dad was diagnosed with his cancer he took a very bold approach to witnessing. Not a fanatical, get in your face approach, but...I believe he knew his time on earth was limited. He took his faith and his Jesus VERY seriously. It was not uncommon for him to pray for others when they came to visit him either at home or in the hospital. He sang worship songs while waiting to be seen by a Dr in the ER, he laid hands on and prayed for a Nun while waiting for a CT Scan, and he believed Jesus would heal him. I have never been more proud to call him my Dad. He is and will always be my Hero. I'd like to think he was there with me that day, but...I know it was Jesus. I could not help but remember how my Dad's body was broken and still he pressed on. HE carried my Dad. So today, if you tell me I am "so strong", "amazing"...."courageous"...I will not hesitate to tell you, whoever you may be, why I am this way. Because of my Jesus. I find myself speaking more freely about my faith these days. I'm more thankful. And can I just tell you? Jesus is working in our lives. All of us. Even my sweet little three year old Halle girl.

Deep Thoughts

2011-11-01T16:49:00.000-07:00

The Sunday after I delivered Elliott, my sweet friend Dena came up to spend some time with me. We went out for dinner and to see a movie with our friend Jessica and just spent time being together talking about the things women do after giving birth. Dena spent the night with us and Monday we had an appointment to meet with the Funeral Home and arrange Elliott's service. Dena graciously agreed to come with us and we were so glad. After the arrangements had been made I asked Dena if she would like to see our sweet boy. I knew Elliott was already there and knew that Auntie Dena would want to see him...she nodded yes and we waited while they got Elliott ready. How did I know?? I knew not everyone would want to do this or see him, but...Auntie Dena had commented earlier on that it just wasn't fair that Grampie (in heaven) got to meet Elliott before she did! We entered the viewing room and took our last peek at our sweet boy. We checked out his fingers and toes and his long legs. Dena asked if she could take a picture to show her Mom. I agreed as I knew that this was exactly what she would do. Fast forward about two weeks later. Dena's daughter Jessica (age seven) is flipping through the pictures on her phone. She stops on the picture of Elliott and says, "Whoa Mom, what is this??"....it's understandable that Elliott looked different. Not like a full term baby would....and days had passed since his graduation to Heaven. Dena took a deep breath and knew she had to tell Jess more about Elliott. She explained what had happened, how I was feeling and answered questions for her. When Dena was done Jess turned to her Mommy and said, "I get it!". Perplexed Dena said, "You do?" Seriously, this seven-year-old little girl got it?? Wow....she turned to Dena and said, "Yes, sometimes you get Isaac, and sometimes...you get the lamb." Let it soak in. Yes, friends....the lamb.

Halle Berry Fairy

2011-10-31T16:55:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween from our Halle Berry Fairy....love that costume?? She has her Nana to thank!

Now I Lay me Down To Sleep

2011-10-27T09:26:00.000-07:00

I would like to tell you about the extraordinary care we received at the hospital when I delivered Elliott. My Doctor (Dr. K) was not on call that early morning, but....another of her associates (Dr. M) was there to meet us in Labor and Delivery Triage. He was kind, informative and sensitive to our situation. We needed that. I asked a lot of questions.....can I have an epidural? I've never delivered a baby...what would this be like?? He explained that I was dilated to almost three and Elliott's little foot was already coming down. We knew from our appointment at the University of Washington just two days earlier that our little Elliott was not viable. They would not be able to use life-saving measures for him after he was delivered...we would have needed to wait until he was at least 23 ideally 24 weeks gestation....he was only 19 weeks. For health reasons this was not an option for us. Keeping my cervix open for four, possibly five weeks was just not going to happen.....the risk of infection was too great and with E's little foot coming down that would also cause many problems. I think it was at the moment that I truly chose to cling to my Jesus. A sense of calm came over me. I knew that without my Jesus I could not do this. When I asked Dr. M how long this would take he thought I would deliver on Friday. That was a FULL day away from where we were. I didn't like that idea too much. Waiting to deliver a baby who is full term that you will bring home with you is one thing...knowing you'll be waiting that long to deliver your baby that is moving on to heaven is another.

We got all checked into our room and I had all the standard care....IV inserted, blood pressure taken -- let's talk about this. Can I tell you how much I don't like those automatic blood pressure taker things?? I'm sure there's a technical term for them. But, let me tell you when you are in the midst of labor and this thing is taking your blood pressure automatically every 15 minutes...it's not too fun. It literally squeezes your arm so very tight and you have to remember to straighten your arm just so they can take it. Crazy! Anyhoo...My guess is at this time I was probably having contractions....just not feeling them. The Dr.'s explained that when your uterus is this small you can't feel them and they don't register on their monitor. HMMM. Aaron literally fell onto the extra "Daddy" sleeping bed and began lightly snoring. I could not for the life of me sleep. I know it was adrenaline and everything else going through my mind. I prayed....laid still and felt Elliott still moving in me....I was thanking Jesus for Elliott and his life....I was praying for my husband. He is such a sensitive, loving big Teddy Bear. I knew this would crush him.

This is where I will tell you about our nurses...Catharine & Lauren. Oh.my.word. Such sweet, caring, kind women. They were with me for the entire day. They have 12 hour shifts so from 7am-7pm these two cared for me. They answered more questions for me and explained what it would really be like to deliver our sweet Elliott. I signed a consent form for an epidural...so everything would be ready when the time came. They encouraged us to celebrate Elliott's life, to hold him, take pictures and rejoice that we had a little boy. They told us about "Now I Lay me Down to Sleep". An organization that volunteers to come in and take pictures of babies that go on to live with our Jesus in heaven. We didn't want to take pictures ourselves...that would have been just too hard. But, to have someone else come in and professionally take pictures of our Elliott would be so special. We would cherish those FOREVER. Catharine & Lauren also explained that an organization called "Mary Madeline Project" makes gowns for babies from donated wedding dresses.....not only do they make gowns, but...blankets as well. When Elliott is born, they would bathe him and put him in one of these gowns. Precious.Perfect.Special WOW! What an amazing gift.

At 4:50pm on Thursday, October 13, 2011 I gave birth to our son Elliott Aamodt Benner. He weighed 10.4 oz and was 9 1/2" long. He was perfect. He had all his fingers and toes, long legs and big feet....and the thing that will stick with me forever...his sweet button nose. Even now I can picture it! I'm so glad. From day one this little guy was a huge surprise and he certainly didn't disappoint with his delivery. Dr. K was in another room and Catharine knew I was getting close....she had run out to get my Dr. as I was bleeding a bit too much for their liking. It was then that Elliott decided to make his appearance. Catharine delivered Elliott. Daddy and I cried and cried. What a tremendous journey this had been. It was at this point that I knew I could weep and rest in Jesus' loving arms with my husband. I had done my job as a Mommy. I had delivered my sweet boy. Catharine, Lauren & Dr. K looked over Elliott, wrapped him up and presented him to me. Aaron and I marveled at this little guy created by our Jesus. Elliott was bathed and put in a gown with a sweet yellow and cream blanket wrapped around him. The photographer came to take pictures of our sweet boy. I can't wait to see those. Amy Van, came to spend some time with me as Aaron took a breather and went to get us some real food. Amy, thank you for loving on my sweet boy. For not being afraid to help place that sweet hat upon his head. That blessed me so much as Elliott's Mommy.

I would be forgetting something if I did not also thank, Alisa my night nurse & Michelle who was with me the next day. Incredible. Thank you Pastor Kurt for coming to see us on this extraordinary day. And our dear friend Sean Taylor for coming to support my husband. We love you both so much...it is sometimes not comfortable to be in a situation like this with people you love. Kurt & Sean we will never forget what you did for us that day!

Phew...this is a marathon post. If you are still with me....bless you!! The video above tells just one story of a family touched by "Now I Lay me Down to Sleep". As I watched this I can so identify with the photographer, Jessica. Elliott was here. I will never forget him.

Faithful

2011-10-25T08:45:00.000-07:00

When Aaron picked me up from the hospital the day after giving birth to Elliott....I walked out of "Labor and Delivery" proudly carrying Elliott's memory box. It is filled with lots of reminders of him. His hand and footprints, a sweet, sweet card from the nurses, a small blue teddy bear and now it holds his ultrasound pictures and our hospital bracelets. Lots and lots of memories in there. I was thankful for our sweet nurse Michelle who lead us down the hallway and opened the door as we left. I walked outside with my husband on that sunshiney day and got into our car. Let me tell you about my husband. He is a man of few words. The words he says are profound and have much, much meaning. AND...music means the world to him. Jesus first, his family and then definitely music. He had prepared for this trip home by having Chris Tomlin's CD "All to Us" in the ready. Oh does this CD minister. If you don't have it...get it. On our drive home the song above "Faithful" came on. We both sat with tears streaming down our faces as we worshipped our King. Thanking him for being so faithful to us even in this situation. We knew without a shadow of a doubt that we needed to have this played at Elliott's service. And we did. Now, fast forward to a week later. Halle and I are driving to a pick up my Mom to attend a volleyball game of our cousin....this CD is still playing in our car and I'm sure it will be for many more days to come. "Faithful" comes on....Hal listens to about two bars and then says, "Mommy, we sing this at church"...."Yes, Sweet girl, we sang it at Elliott's service...do you remember? Uncle Joel played his guitar and Miss Becky sang?"....."Yes" she says, "Let's sing it again"....and so we did FIVE more times. Our girl also has passion for music like her Daddy. She knows what she wants to listen to and will ALWAYS make that known. What a healing moment this was for me. Our sweet big sister singing the song that means so much to her Daddy and I. I will gladly sing that song with her......ONE HUNDRED more times if that's what she wants.

A jumbled mess....

2011-10-24T14:14:00.000-07:00

That's me today. a.big.jumbled.mess. I'm happy one minute when my sweet Halle girl climbs in my lap while I'm sitting cross-legged on the floor and quietly says "I love you Mom"....I'm sad, so sad while I sit here smelling the beautiful flowers that were given to us upon Elliott's passing. I can't quite keep it together. I'm crabby when I remember someone telling me "Next time you just need a cerclage!" Seriously?? That would not fix that fact that I have had three previous miscarriages prior to 8 weeks. I'm afraid I'm going to forget Elliott, I'm afraid we'll never again have enough money to adopt another child because frankly, I can not have this happen to me again. There is only so much one can take both physically and emotionally. I feel as though my body is broken because I have been unable to carry a baby to full term and my heart right now has a big tear in it....I did not ask to be a member of this club. Who would want to?? No one. I know my Jesus did not make this happen. Because I know this He and I have been talking lately about this very thing. Why would he allow me to get pregnant if this was to happen?? I'm really having a hard time wrapping my brain around this. I'm remembering how it felt to have Elliott moving in me and how happy I was to wear maternity clothes and talk to my friends about actually being pregnant for longer than 6 weeks. I know this is so much to process in such a short time. It's only been a little over a week. But, again I'm that girl. The one who likes to have a plan....likes to have the whole story. Where do we go from here?? I'm looking to my Jesus to provide me with answers that I need. I know, I know...I may never have a definite answer to some of my very hard questions.

We are overwhelmed in a very good way with all the love, support, prayers and encouragement we have been getting from all our friends and family. Our church and friends have provided endless meals, goodies and even a bottle of wine (Thanks TenKley's!)....we have eaten more sugar over the last week than we did in over 5 months! The Facebook messages I have received from friends have literally carried me through some rough patches. I have connected with girls that had the very same thing happen to them. And for that I am truly grateful. Just typing this post is starting to make me feel better. I need to process. I have been reading Angie Smith's blog again...back to her old posts about her dear, sweet Audrey. And I ordered her book from Amazon today. I also ordered "Heaven is for Real" for kids. I have read the one for adults and I thought this might be helpful for Halle. She is asking all kinds of questions about heaven and her baby brother being there. She asked us on Friday before Elliott's service so matter of factly, "What is heaven?" Aaron and I just looked at each other and did our very best to give her a few answers. I told her we would tell her more when she was a little bit older. So friends & family, this is how we're doing. Good some days and bad on other's. Please continue to pray for us. We'll take all the prayers we can get!!

My words....

2011-10-20T09:42:00.001-07:00

This will be read at Elliott's service tomorrow, I wanted to share it with you all --

On July 8 I learned I was pregnant. After three miscarriages, infertility treatments and the adoption of our sweet Halle girl, Jesus had blessed us once again…with a miracle. Cautiously, Aaron and I entered into this new journey. From day one our Elliott was always a child of Jesus. Every time I would have a bump in the pregnancy I would pray, “Jesus, this is your baby. Your gift you gave to us. YOU are in control”. Countless times I prayed this very same prayer….when Satan was trying to steal my joy I was pressing into Jesus. Aaron and I picked out names for our baby….each of us secretly praying that we would have a little boy to carry on the name’s of two very important people in our families who had gone on to be with Jesus. Elliott Aamodt Benner. What a strong, courageous name to give you. One that is deep in tradition….one that your Grampie Davis carried as well as your Great-Grandpa Davis…the other that your Daddy was given, your cousin & your Great Grandpa Craner. When we found out you were a boy your Daddy and I rejoiced! We were so excited to see who you would look like…what color of hair you would have….would you have short legs like Daddy, or maybe longer like Mommy’s side of the family? Our joy was short-lived as just three days later we got to meet you sweet Elliott…. Four months too soon. Now you are in heaven with Jesus, your Grampie & Great-Grandpa Craner. We know they are taking such good care of you there!!

I know many of you, like countless other’s I have talked with this past week, are wondering how I could do this. How can a Mommy give birth to a son she will not see on this side of heaven? My dear friends and family I will tell you. The answer is simple….it’s one you should all know…Jesus. He sustained me through Elliott’s delivery and is still doing the very same thing right now. I’m not saying I don’t have rough days or moments. I cry, Aaron comforts me and talks me through these moments. We pray. We worship. We hug on our Halle girl. And yes…we even eat ice cream and chocolate together. But, we know without a shadow of a doubt this did not happen because of something Aaron, Halle or I did. We know that our Jesus does not promise a world without trials and tribulations. We know that only through HIM we can endure the loss of yet another child. We know we will see our sweet Elliott again. Jesus knows Elliott. We know Jesus. Elliott will always be a part of our lives. We want to talk about him and tell you what he looked like with his tiny button nose & long legs and feet. We want to share with others how Jesus gave Elliott to us as a precious gift. One that will never be taken for granted. So friends and family this is not “good-bye”, but thankfully, “see you later”. Until we meet Elliott in heaven one day!

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” James 1:17 (NIV)

One week

2011-10-18T08:32:00.000-07:00

One week ago today I was still in bed, confined to bed rest with sweet Elliott still moving around in my belly. I was anxious, sad and very unsure of what would happen to our sweet little boy. The day before I had started bleeding and had once again made an appointment with my Dr. to check things out. One ultrasound later I was sent home with progesterone and a very short (less than 1 cm) cervix....put on bed rest and awaiting an appointment at the University of Washington Medical Center with a Perinatologist. I'm a girl who likes the WHOLE story, I don't want Doctor's to mince their words and make them sound good. I wanted to know where we stood....what were the chances of this little boy making it to full term. My sweet Doctor could only say she was very worried. The news at the U of W was encouraging and my cervix showed it was longer (2.5 cm), but....my placenta was almost touching my cervix...this most likely, was the cause for the bleeding. I was sent home on pelvic rest and would be seen today, October 18 for a follow-up appointment at the U of W. Today instead, I'm home with a marginally flat belly, "Mommy" b**bs (as my dear sweet Dena calls them) and the promise that one day I will again see our sweet Elliott Aamodt in heaven. We did not ask for this. Jesus did not "make this happen" because of something Aaron, Halle or I had done. We do not know why my cervix that was looking so promising decided to open up and dilate to three upon my admit to the hospital on early Thursday morning. We only know that Jesus does not promise a world without trials and tribulations. We know that only through HIM can we make it through the loss of another child. We know where Elliott is. We held him....we saw his sweet, sweet fingers and toes and the cutest button nose you have ever seen. His life, though short lived is very precious indeed. Jesus knows Elliott. And we know Jesus. Be patient with me as I pour out our experience on this blog. I need this and I think you all do as well. I pray that through Elliott's short life people will come to know our Jesus and the peace only He can bring. Can I share with you a portion of scripture my husband handed to me this morning? This really does sum up how we are feeling.

If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That's to prevent anyone from confusing God's incomparable power with us. As it is, there's not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we're not much to look at. We've been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we're not demoralized; we're not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we've been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn't left our side; we've been thrown down, but we haven't broken. What they did to Jesus they do to us-trial and torture, mockery and murder; what Jesus did among them, he does in us-he lives! Our lives are at constant risk for Jesus' sake, which makes Jesus' life all the more evident in us. While we're going through the worst, you're getting in on the best! 2 Corinthians 4:7-12 (Message)

Happy THIRD Birthday!

2011-09-26T20:31:00.000-07:00

To our sweet, silly girl on her birthday,
Today you turned THREE. As I just read your birthday letter from last year I cried. Mommy is a bit of a crier lately. That's because she's growing your little brother/sister in her tummy! What a GREAT big sister you are going to be. As I look back on this year I can not believe how much you've grown up and out.....your vocabulary astounds even me. It seems like over night you have started carrying on whole conversations with ANYONE who wants to listen. That includes all your stuffed animals and each and every person we pass while in a store. You still love to sing and are very demanding when choosing music to listen to....you currently are enjoying your Veggie Tale's sing the 70's CD with great gusto!! Mommy and Daddy kind of like it too. Eating your meals is still a chore.....maybe you'll just learn to like it someday. For now, we urge you on and try not to get to impatient...hmmmm...I need to remember this. You started a new Pre-School/Daycare this year at the Gingerbread House....and you ABSOLUTELY love it! As I type this your birthday treat bags are packed and you're all set to celebrate your birthday with your friends. You are recognizing lots of letters and love to learn more about them. AND finally, have your colors down....that's when you want to! Sometimes you just trick us. This year you mastered the swings at the park. You've always loved the slides, but...for some reason those swings scared you. Not anymore...now if only you could learn to pump your legs. AND...we passed a big milestone in May when you stopped wearing diapers! PHEW!! I'm so proud of you big girl...and I'm so glad I don't have to change your diapers anymore. Now we just need to get rid of your binky.....Halle, Mommy and Daddy pray Jesus blesses you this year and that you continue to grow in HIM. Becoming the woman of God we know you'll one day be. For now, we'll take our silly little brown girl who still likes to rock-a-bye for a few minutes each night before bed...who repeatedly gives us hugs and kisses and loves to see our faces after a long day away!
Hugs and Kisses,
Mommy & Daddy

Our guitar playing girl....

2011-07-09T15:26:00.000-07:00

Our girl LOVES music. She loves it even more when her Daddy plays the music on his guitar. I was gone this night and Halle and Daddy were spending some time together. Some guitar playing passes the time away!! And YES, she likes it LOUD!

Sprinkler Fun!

2011-06-21T15:15:00.000-07:00

This day had been HOT...we have had an incredibly cool June and because the sun was shining all day....it was still close to 75 degrees when we got home from work. Halle quickly ate dinner, changed it her swimsuit and set outside to have some sprinkler fun. This little girl has certainly grown more fond of the water. Daddy and Mommy enjoyed their dinner on the patio watching our little brown girl! What a perfect way to end the day!!

Wordless Wednesday--Mommy & Her Girl

2011-06-01T11:30:00.000-07:00

This could quite possibly be my new FAVORITE picture of me and my girl!! Taken on Memorial Day....

Happy Easter

2011-04-24T06:52:00.000-07:00

We had a lot of fun coloring eggs...can't you tell??

Growing UP!

2011-04-15T12:49:00.000-07:00

That's right....this little, itty, bitty ladybug is growing up to be a VERY tall little girl! Our friends returned our infant car seat and Halle thought she should try it out! This comparison makes me laugh! I think it's time to fill our infant car seat with another little, itty, bitty baby.....praying for God's timing and HIS provision....having faith that He will help meet our needs!

Andrade Aamodt Elias

2011-04-10T12:59:00.000-07:00

This is our nephew & the newest member of our family born to Aaron's sister Leah & her husband Eddie.....they live far, far away in California so we were so excited when they all came for a family visit last week. We packed so much time in just being together. It was so much fun and Halle just LOVES her cousin. Of course, all of us do as well. We have lots more pictures....but, I don't want you all to get overloaded with all his baby cuteness...stay tuned for more family fun!!

This is my favorite picture....look at those eyes!!

The two Aamodt's: Aaron Aamodt & Andrade Aamodt

Hmmm...the little brown girl says, "I think I want to touch his hair"....

Insert binky...touch "Baby Andrade"....ahhhh, so soft!

I think he really wanted Cousin Eden's bunny.....

Where is she???

2011-04-03T19:36:00.000-07:00

This is how we may find Halle on any typical night....she's kind of a CRAZY sleeper!

Some "Light" Reading

2011-03-25T20:00:00.000-07:00

Feeling Better!

2011-03-20T14:30:00.000-07:00

It's been a rough couple days at our house...I've had a cold and so has the little brown girl....now, Daddy has it!! I think we're on the mend and yesterday I was able to leave the house for hair appointment and errands! Hoooorrrraaayyy! Fresh air and sunshine made it WONDERFUL. We also got a new camera and I wanted to share some of my new favorite pictures. Boy, does it make a difference. Halle and I were tracing our hands yesterday and passing the time!!

Hooray for a Sewing Nana!!

2011-03-12T10:52:00.000-08:00

Halle has been in her BIG girl twin bed now since the end of October. She is doing GREAT....and doesn't even need the extra side rail anymore. In the beginning she was using Mommy's old denim duvet cover. We were waiting for Nana to have some extra time so she could put together a duvet cover for us. She stopped by last week with this FABULOUS set! Can I just tell you...she ROCKS her sewing machine. I provided the striped fabric (two queen flat sheets) and gave her a few ideas of what I would like. Check out the final results! It should be noted that Halle LOVES all of this...in fact she laid down on it and exclaimed "PERFECT!!"

"PERFECT!"

All set up on her bed....the headboard and frame were Mommy's...we just gave it a fresh coat of paint.

AND...extra special...Nana made a matching set for her baby bed...now "Ruby" & "Chole" can sleep in comfort as well!!

Grief

2011-03-10T22:48:00.000-08:00

Today I attended a funeral for a young man who was tragically killed while walking to a friend's house last friday night. This has rocked our little community, church and his High School where he was Senior ready to graduate in June. This young man's Mom was a co-worker of mine and she and her boys attend our church. I do not know her super well, but....I am grieving with her. Today was a celebration of his life and the legacy that he leaves behind. He played football and soccer, but also had a creative side which loved music and playing the drums. Most importantly he was a "Friend to All". In his 18 short years, I learned today, he touched so many lives....he had compassion for those less fortunate, less liked and somewhat different. He was a friend to other's when they had no other friend. His smile could light up a room and he plainly loved to have fun with his friends. He was incredibly giving, even through his death. EIGHT people's lives, including two babies, were saved due to his generous organ/tissue donations.

I learned of this awful tragedy when it was announced at church on Sunday morning....I physically gasped when our dear Pastor announced his name. I immediately thought of his sweet, thoughtful Mom. Her boys are her life...she spoke of them and their accomplishments so often. My heart just ached for her. But, I knew without a shadow of a doubt where her boy was now. He was in heaven with his Heavenly Father, whole and healthy...most likely playing soccer and having a sweet time with our Jesus. I knew this week would be hard for our small, close-knit workplace. We are a group of about 22-25 women...all WOMEN. We share almost everything with each other...and are a lot like a group of sisters in a way. More than one of us wears our heart on our sleeve. Not all of us worked closely with Tammy, but...a fair number of us did. And some of the gals I work with have kids who attend the very same high school this young man went to. You can imagine what this was like. But, since Monday I've been really processing all of this. I have that eternal perspective and I know that Jason will be in Heaven...his family and friends will most definitely see him again if they choose Jesus and what He has to offer. But, other's process grief differently...death to them is so final. I've been praying for those I work with that were hit so hard by all of this.....that Jesus would bring them peace and if they heard only a small portion of the message at his funeral it would be the truth about our Jesus and Heaven. And ultimately, how they too could have the assurance that when they died they would join Jason in Heaven. At least 350 students from the High School attended this service today...so many of them hurting and unable to process what has happened. This young man died tragically, but today....over 100 people prayed the sinner's prayer at his funeral. I believe my friend Kim said it best in her FB post today "One life given for so many. What a beautiful and ULTIMATE expression of Christ. Wow."

"Twirly" Skirt Tube Top....

2011-03-06T19:59:00.000-08:00

This is a typical Sunday morning at our house. Who says you can't wear your "twirly" skirt as a tube top?? With your pajama bottoms no less. When you're almost two 1/2 the Fashion Police aren't so quick to critique you. Thank goodness...I'm sure she will be concerned with fashion soon enough. Creativity is what we encourage right now.

Made of Chocolate

2011-03-02T20:06:00.000-08:00

This is Halle and Issac during our camping trip this past July....he is the son or dear friends Josh and Dena. Unfortunately, Josh and Dena live TOO far away.....it's at least a three hour drive for us to reach their house. We certainly don't see each other nearly enough. We keep up via e-mail and Facebook & lots of text messages. Just last week I got the cutest text from Dena. She had been reading a book about Abraham Lincoln to Isaac, while reading the book he stopped Dena and said, "Some of those guys are made of chocolate....like Halle!!" The next day he added that only her face was made of chocolate because her hands are pink! HEHE!! Oh Isaac Lawrence....we love you!!

Catch Up!

2011-02-23T22:22:00.000-08:00

This is going to be my attempt at trying to catch up! Sheesh...this blog is sadly neglected. I guess that's because I'm a busy working Mom of this busy, silly toddler. I'm sure you would have never guessed this by looking at the above picture. HEHE! That's a doll bed that my Great Grandpa made. Hal thinks she fits. Trust me...she definitely keeps us RUNNING!! I certainly should weigh a heck of a lot less than I do. We have been busy, busy, busy since January. Busy playing with play-dough, coloring, playing in Hal's kitchen...helping Grammie get her house ready to put on the market, folding laundry, bowling with family, holding Demarle at Home Parties (that's me!), trying to potty-train, working a few hours from home so I don't have to go in so early, getting root canals and subsequent crowns....starting Weight Watchers and losing 11 pounds so far, trying out new recipes, attending Women's Bible Study and just being a family!! My house is usually a wreck, the dryer is most definitely ALWAYS going and I always have a full laundry basket with clean clothes waiting to be folded. But, every night when I go to bed and kiss this little girl good night..it's all worth it. Can someone please remind me of that the next time I burst into tears after cleaning up a small flood in the bathroom during her bath??

New LOOK!!

2011-02-20T22:30:00.000-08:00

Again, this blog has a long over due new look. I have wanted for so long to make my own banner and make this blog a little spiffier...is that a word? Well...it is now...it's an April word...so too bad! I didn't know how to do and we don't have Photoshop or the money to purchase it. So...I found a tutorial that helped me out....AND I downloaded the FREE Picasa software. GENIUS!! AND...so very easy!!

CHRISTmas Celebration

2010-12-26T14:59:00.000-08:00

PHEW! Christmas is over and long gone, but...I'm way behind. So...here is a bit of our Christmas in pictures. It was busy, but...so much FUN...I LOVE hanging out with family and being exactly that FAMILY! Check out Hal's so super cute dress...her Foster Mom, Mary Lynne made it especially for her. AND...you may see a trend here...Halle loves DOGS. It was so fun to see Christmas through Halle's two-year old eyes this year. She is getting it!!

Halle, Jada & Maya -- Gienger gathering Christmas Eve

Halle and her Jessie -- Christmas Eve

Halle & Grammie -- Christmas Eve

Our little family

Our Ragamuffin on Christmas Morning

Opening her stocking with Mommy

Presents from Mommy & Daddy

Christmas hug for Grammie...Christmas Morning

Halle & Roxy...Pals...

A little iPod fun with Daddy

Chillin' with her cousin Bryce

Benner Grandkids: Bryce, Eden, Kai, Hayden & Halle

We missed you Andrade!

Santa....or NOT?!

2010-12-15T12:50:00.000-08:00

Would you do me a favor? Read this post. My friend Dena says this so well. There is no Santa at our house and he will never be here. For Christmas is about JESUS! HIS birth......the wisemen, shepherds, Mary and Joseph....and singing "Away in a Manger".

Thankful

2010-11-24T13:30:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful, yet pondering....what would it be like if my Dad was still here??? I'm sure he would be EXCITED beyond belief that there was a chance of snow on Thanksgiving. He would caution my Mom about the gravy....making sure there were no lumps and it was THICK enough for his liking. He would eat with gusto and gooble up everything on his plate making sure he left room from Mom's apple pie. He would want to make sure we had enough leftovers for the week. He would settle in HIS chair after the meal and watch some football. This I'm sure of. I'm also sure that Halle would be the light of his life. He would so love this little girl that DOES NOT stop moving. That makes me sad. But, do you know why I'm thankful? Tomorrow marks the 4 year anniversary of my Dad's "graduation". He went to be with his Jesus, the Saturday after Thanksgiving of 2006. Let me share something with you. My Dad could always know when it was going to snow...and he LOVED the snow so much. The evening my Dad passed away my family and I gathered for a meal out.....I kept saying...."it looks like it's going to snow"....they all passed it off...when we stepped outside to leave the restaurant...guess what?? It was snowing...and it snowed for almost a week! So, I'm thankful for snow mostly because it reminds me of my Dad. AND...yes, I love it too...just like him! I am also thankful that I have the knowledge of my saving Jesus and a relationship with Him. That means that one day I will see my day again in heaven. What a super, glorious day that will be....My Dad, my three babies I never got to meet and all the others that have gone on before me. Does that make you thankful, excited.....giddy? It does me! This weekend, take some time....slow down....be thankful. Delight in HIS grace. Sit at HIS feet....prepare your hearts for the CHRISTmas season.
Happy Thanksgiving to All!!

Halle Grace

2010-11-21T12:14:00.000-08:00

Two years ago on this date in Tyler, Tx this little girl was placed in my arms. From that day on she has blessed my socks off! That day just happened to be "National Adoption Day" in 2008 and while our family and friends in Washington were celebrating at the courthouse we were receiving the BEST gift EVER. For as long as I live I will not forget that day....and when Halle is old enough her Daddy and I will tell her all about it and show her all the pictures we have. Pictures of her Birth Mom and her Foster family....pictures we treasure. I loved that the people who worked at the agency just grabbed our camera and began snapping pictures. Because of this little girl we have learned what it is to be Parent's.....in my opinion, the HARDEST job one will ever have...and since Halle is TWO right now we are right in the middle of some of the worst days I have ever had. BUT, when that little girl hugs me around my legs and says "Love you Mommy"....I melt. I forget all the hard days I've had and remember Jesus has given us Halle as a gift. He blessed us when her Birth Mom chose us after looking through many profiles....she gave her life and grew her in her tummy. But, she so grew in our hearts! I remember so clearly the day Bob from Christian Homes called my cell phone to tell us about this little girl. I remember everyone in my office gathering around the computer as I pulled up her picture for the first time....I remember her Daddy's tears when he first laid eyes on her while she was in my arms and Halle looking up worried when Daddy fed her the very first bottle. What an AMAZING journey we have been on!! Thank you Jesus for blessing us with this little brown girl...we love her very much!!

Pictures from our FIRST day together

Esther Jade

2010-11-18T22:22:00.000-08:00

Calling all prayer warriors! Will join me and pray for sweet Esther Jade? She needs our prayers more than ever........what an eternal perspective her Mommy has. Love her so much and their family!

Wordless Wednesday--Best Buddies!!!

2010-11-10T13:05:00.000-08:00

Halle and her BEST buddy, Trevin. These two = TROUBLE!

BIG Girl Bed

2010-11-10T13:02:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago we moved Halle into her "BIG Girl Bed"...it's a twin size bed that was mine. So, that makes it pretty special....Daddy painted the headboard bright red to match Hal's room and we got some new sheets too. We don't quite have all the bedding yet. Nana is going to help Mommy make a duvet cover, but...she's been really busy lately preparing for her new grandson that will arrive sometime in early December. She made the cutest bedding for the little guy's crib! For the first two nights we climbed into bed with Hal and laid with her until she fell asleep. Then, on the third night, she stayed all by herself...HOORAAY!! Well, I 'd like to say she's done that ever since, but...that is not the story! AND...certainly would not be truthful if I said that! It's a struggle...we're making it. Isn't parenting great? Nothing has ever stretched me as much as being a Mommy has. Here are some pictures to commemorate this BIG step in Hal's little life.....

She LOVED helping Daddy put her bed together and was just GIDDY with excitement over this BIG change. I found her on Sunday morning sleeping totally sideways in her bed...good thing she didn't fall out! She loved to do this in her crib too, but...she had become way too tall!

Fluffy Little Chicken.....

2010-11-02T23:08:00.000-07:00

I Love YOU!! This would be the ONE and only picture I have of Halle in her chicken costume. We learned quite quickly that two year olds and busy church Harvest carnival's don't go well together. We lasted one HALF hour. Oh well....maybe next year will be better. But seriously, have you seen a cuter chicken? I think not!

Chicken Strips

2010-10-20T15:26:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to post this for a LONG time, but...time is something I don't always have a lot of...well, a lot of extra time that is! I love, love, love me some good 'ol chicken strips at a little down home diner...but, let's face it...sometimes you're really taking a chance. Have you ever ordered them and been disappointed? They have two much batter, they are burnt....and just not tasty! Well...I fixed that...now we can have DELICIOUS chicken strips at home. The usual suspects:

egg
flour
milk
boneless chicken tenders (save yourself some time, seriously, buy them at Costco)
salt & pepper
and..maybe not so usual.....PANKO breadcrumbs (these you should buy at the Asian Market, they are much less expensive)

Here are the bread crumbs for your viewing pleasure!!

I usually make an assembly line...first you dip them in flour, then and egg/milk (salt and pepper) mixture...then finally, in the Panko. I coat ALL the tenders first..then I put them in a stainless skillet that's been warmed with canola oil.....

I cook them on both sides until they are lightly browned. I used to cook them all the way through in the pan, but...that just doesn't work good. It's takes too long from them to cook all they way through...and then they burn. SO, I put them on a baking sheet with a wire rack and bake them in a 350 degree oven for about 15 minutes....

Finally...you get to eat these yummy treats....YUM-O...ummmm...just in case you're wondering...that is not gravy made from scratch...I can't do that. Well, I guess I haven't tried...but, this tastes sooooo good and is so easy!! But, the corn is from our own frozen stash...how's that?? ENJOY!!

Fabulous FRIDAY!

2010-10-17T12:15:00.000-07:00

On Friday Grammie & Mommy took Halle and her Cousin Kai to Stoneyridge Farm....oh my! What fun we had!! I just posted two of my favorite pictures...I love Kai and Halle on this pumpkin wagon. AND...how Kai has that silly little grin on his face. The next picture is Hal eating her very first candy necklace. OH MY! What a big mess, but...she had so much fun...can't wait until next year!!!

SECOND Birthday Party Pictures

2010-10-17T12:06:00.000-07:00

This post is FULL of pictures...ENJOY! I don't think words are necessary. I made Hal's shirt and her Foster Mom, MaryLynne made her sooo cute pants....we partied at Grammie's and had a FABULOUS time!! OH...I made the monkey cupcakes with Grammie's help as well.

Happy SECOND Birthday!!

2010-09-26T09:00:00.000-07:00

Today is your 2nd birthday Miss Halle Grace...I CAN NOT believe this BIG girl was the very same almost 9 lb'er we flew home from Texas with. At the time she was 2 months old....and OH SO cute, guess what?? She still is!! Her Daddy is trying to train her young...as you can tell by the above picture. We'll let him....he even got her a PINK camo shirt for her birthday. It's pretty cute!! We'll celebrate at Grammie's house today with her cousins, Auntie's & Uncles, Nana & Papa....and she is getting a BIKE! I can't wait to see the look on her face!!

To my silly, stubborn little brown girl,
Today you are TWO! You have been practicing with Mommy and Daddy how to say that when people ask you. You're doing GREAT! You, my little ray of sunshine are as silly as they come. You are so quick to give kisses and make the "mmmmm" sound when you do that...that is ALWAYS followed up with "love you"....that's what we say to you when we give you a kiss, so I guess it came naturally. You still LOVE books and being read to....and your love of all things "Veggie Tales" is ongoing....not to mention, Elmo & Miss Patty Cake....."Lady and the Tramp" comes in at a very close second. I wish you were as passionate about mealtime as you are about playtime! HEHE! You do not like to eat much and almost every meal we have to coax you through it. It's gets very tiring for both Mommy & Daddy. We're hoping this year, you'll grow out of that??? You love your Grammie, Titi, Nana, Papa, Auntie, Uncle and cousins....and readily talk about them throughout the week. This year has proved to be an amazing year of new things for you....you went from walking to running, you've mastered climbing and love slides and swings at the park....your love for animals has GROWN.....and I still see a puppy in our future...Nana calls you her "little farmer girl". Happiness for you is your boots and a BIG backyard to roam in. You enjoyed your Saturday's with Nana watering flowers and checking the vegetable garden...not to mention eating strawberries right out of Nana & Papa's patch! Your little singsong voice following me around at home makes me smile and Mommy almost cried watching you sing to Miss Patty Cake the other day...motions and all. It's not uncommon for me to hear, "more, more" from you after I've finished a song...I respond with "more what"?? Your answer to me "SINGING". While on the subject of music it should be noted that you know what kind of music you want and when you want it! Well, that's pretty much true for everything with you. BUT, honestly, when we get in the car you usually shout out the title of the song you would like to listen to. Your favorites: "Big Green Tractor" by Jason Aldean & "What I like about YOU" by the Romantics....you also like David Crowder and are starting to sing many of his songs along with Mommy....It's so super cute to hear you say "Hallelujah"! You're getting so big and it's a lot harder to snuggle with you at night before bed...you just don't fit well! BUT, we'll keep doing it until you don't let Mommy and Daddy anymore. YOU our little brown girl still bring us much joy and laughter....you love life and everything that it's about....you do challenge every boundary we give you and definitely keep us on our toes. We are so thankful that our Jesus brought you into our lives....it was kinda boring before you came! We pray that this your second year is filled with more wonder and amazement...continued learning and growing...your letters, colors & numbers...and more importantly Jesus' love for you!

We love you Halle Grace Louella,
Mommy & Daddy too....

LaConner -- Celebrating Birthdays!

2010-09-06T11:54:00.000-07:00

Over Labor Day Weekend we jam-packed a BUNCH of stuff in....On Sunday we loaded Halle up after a short nap and drove to LaConner. Aunt Ione & Uncle Ron were camping out there and our extended family would all be there to celebrate Jessie & Evan's birthdays. Jess turned 17 on August 31 and Evan will turn 16 on September 11. We made sure we were all dressed for the beach....good thing!! Halle ABSOLUTELY loved it.....good thing she had her super cute boots on!! Thanks TiTi for those!! We spent time practicing our rock throwing skills and just walked and walked the beach! Hal loved picking blackberries right off the bushes and was very well behaved. PHEW! We only had a meltdown when she wasn't allowed to walk RIGHT into the water. Silly Girl!!

Northwest Washington Fair 2010

2010-08-20T18:49:00.000-07:00

We took Halle to the Fair for the very first time today. OH MY! She loved every single stinkin' minute of it. We chose to park in one of the free shuttle bus parking lots and ride the bus. We usually do that any way, but this time was extra special. This little brown girl thinks buses are the best thing since sliced bread! Her excitement is contagious and it makes me want to enjoy riding the bus as much as she does. We could hardly keep her in her seat. We met Grammie, her friend Roy (he was visiting from Texas and here to attend his class reunion) and TiTi! Hal was sportin' her oh so cute puffs in her hair....I love it like that!! We started off the night with a few rides. I wasn't sure how she would do as recently she has become a little timid on the swings at the park. Boy, you sure couldn't tell....she faced the rides HEAD ON...just as this little girl faces life. You'll see from the pictures below the sheer joy and excitement on her little face. Even though the slide one is blurry you should have been there to see her expression...I'll never forget it! It was all worth it just for this....seriously, do you know how long I have been waiting for a little person of my own to take to the Fair??? So many years I can't even count. My heart was so happy watching this little girl of our's having so much fun. And then....we went to see the animals...yes, my daughter is wearing a bear backpack/harness. It worked super....and this time she didn't run around like a crazy girl with it on. She had to touch every single one of the animals....and even their water...SHEESH! We had to keep her hands out of that. I enjoyed my King Corn dog, french fries and had my ice cream cone from the Dariy Wives booth...LOVE IT!! We didn't get home until 9:30pm and she was still awake. We just had to snap one last picture of her hair...after we took the puffs out. She was laughing so hard at herself in the mirror...yes, my mirror is dirty. It somehow doesn't look that bad in person...honestly.

Happy Birthday!!!

2010-08-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

Today is my Dad's birthday...on this day he would be 62! Instead...on this day I miss him...very, very much...I miss everything about him. His laugh...his silly sense of humor and that silly way that he dressed. Trust me, he DID NOT have any fashion sense what so ever. BUT, we loved him for that and it gave us all the more reason to dress him...ummm...er...buy him clothes. My Dad will always be my hero. He fought his cancer for 4 1/2 years...his body went through much more than I can handle in a single minute. I look up to him like no other and I respect him and always will. He blessed me......and I'm sad he isn't here to see his granddaughter...he would LOVE her. And, I'm quite certain she would love her Grampie! Dad, I miss you and wish you could be here with us, but...I'm so very glad your body is whole and healed...that your spending this your 62nd birthday with your Heavenly Father the one who created you. Until I see you again, I will eat crab whenever I get the chance because...that's what you would do...and I am your daughter. I will remember you with funny stories and silly things that you would say. I will watch the movies you loved and cry because they remind me of you! Not a sad cry...but a "I'm so glad he shared this movie with us"cry. I will stand firm in what I believe and let other's know that. I choose life and what it holds, even if the road is bumpy and not always fun. I will instill in our daughter, along with Aaron, the love of Jesus and all He has done for us just as you and Mom did for me. I promise to never, ever forget you or your silly little smile, your love of camping, card playing or sports. I hope you can see this little Halle...she is going to be taller than YOU! AND...she'll probably love playing all the sports you did. I will take care of Mom because that is what you would be doing....I will love you and love you!!

Forever and Always,

Your very strong-willed (after all, I got it from you) brown-eyed girl

xoxoxoxo

ps...would you catch a big one up in Heaven for me?? and...while you're at it...give those I love a big hug & kiss....

Pictures: Above Mom & Dad on Christmas 2004...Dad & Connor Birch Bay 2005 (I think??)

Nerf Gun 101

2010-08-15T20:36:00.000-07:00

This is my new FAVORITE picture. Aaron got a Nerf Gun this week....what 36 year old Daddy doesn't need one?? HEHEHE! On Saturday he was giving Halle a Nerf Gun lesson....she was so excited she literally danced around the living room picking up the darts after they shot them...hmmmm....we may have a future hunter on our hands...and that's just fine with me!

VeggieTales "Sweetpea Beauty"

2010-08-06T12:45:00.000-07:00

Can I just tell you how excited I am about this new VeggieTales??? It's called Sweetpea Beauty...and you can find it at your local Family Christian Store, Target (for $9.99...I saw it yesterday) or right here! Nichole Nordeman sings this song for the movie and I just CAN NOT wait to get this for our little girl!!

It's just a little chalk.....

2010-07-23T13:43:00.000-07:00

So...this is what Halle and Isaac did while we were camping...Hal's hand is in motion here...and it was so fun to color all over herself! Isaac was doing the very same thing, but...you know it just didn't show up as much on him...HEHE!

Sad...so sad & mind boggling....

2010-07-22T20:14:00.000-07:00

So the other day...well, actually, I think it was more like a month or so ago...I was eating lunch in our miniscule lunch room at work. I usually eat lunch at the same time and so, the same gals usually join me. I love to read....I so love to read...and I don't get much time to do that anymore with the little brown girl at home. So, I take my book with me to work, but...it's hard to really get "into" a book while others are with you...and I think it's kind rude sometimes too, especially since we sit at ONE table in our miniscule little room. Anyhoo...so, this day I was casually flipping through a Good Housekeeping magazine that someone had left there. I notice that Michelle Obama is on the cover...not my favorite lady, so...I press on. Did I mention, this is the "Collector's Edition" 125th Anniversary Issue?? OH MY! When I got to thinking about that it was quite impressive that this magazine has been around for that long. The cover of the magazine also boasts this, "125 Women who changed our lives". Hmmm....got me interested. I flip through and find the article....I see pictures of important and not so important ones (at least to me). Here is what Good Housekeeping had to say:

Some made music, some made noise, all made a difference. We celebrate 125 women who during the past 125 years, broke records, broke ground, blazed trails, and suffered trials, shattering ceilings of glass and even tougher stuff. While some are obvious choices and some obscure, all acted to increase our liberty, safety, and prosperity. One of them makes the best lemon meringue pie ever. We honor these matron saints whose work continues to bring pleasure, save lives and widen the scope of little girls' dreams.

-The Editors

I'm sure I now have all of you on pins and needles...right? Because I don't want to name all of 125...here's the top five....

1. Oprah Winfrey -- Queen of all Media
2. Hillary Rodham Clinton -- Secretary of State, Former First Lady, Former US Senator
3. Mother Teresa -- Missionaries of Charity Founder
4. Rosa Parks -- Civil Rights Activist
5. Eleanor Roosevelt -- First Lady, US Delegate to the UN, Human Rights Activist

I was disturbed and saddened...that Oprah & Hillary Rodham Clinton made the list before Rosa Parks. They considered Oprah a "Matron Saint"....WOW! Guess who number six was?? That's right...Michelle Obama...followed by Amelia Earhart as number seven. Do I want my daughter, who is a little girl with BIG dreams, to look up to most of these women?? Ummm....that would be a big, fat NO! I know I run the risk of offending some of you....and, I'm sorry, but...how about some other women instead? Like Mary, the Mother of Jesus....yes, Rosa Parks, maybe Mother Teresa...but, other's cross my mind. Like my friend Kristi who owns an eye clinic with her husband (both are eye doctor's) and loves Jesus with all her heart, or my friend Jessica who is an amazing Mama to four ALMOST five kiddo's....Halle's Great Grandma Rose who raised four children on her own after her husband died...and she took care of the farm AND worked! Now, Good Housekeeping...don't you think this would be a better choice? I do....It is up to ME and Halle's Daddy to instill dreams in our daughter. BUT, more importantly, to reassure her that with Jesus...all her dreams are possible! She may have hard times, but...following HIM is so much better than all these women have "achieved"!

Product Review

2010-07-14T16:14:00.001-07:00

Just a few things here....sorry, no pictures of Hal this time. This post is devoted to me and some of my favorite products right now. The first is Bare Escentuals Bronzer...it gives me just the extra *warmth* I need during the summer months. Probably any bronzer would do..I got this from my Mom for free...so, it works well for me! The second is Clairol Nice & Easy Root Touch-Up. Let's face it...I'm not getting any younger and neither, unfortunately, is my hair! I find more gray all the time. Frankly, I simply CAN NOT afford to get my hair colored more than every 3 months. This product has really helped me STRETCH my time...and I feel so much better about my hair without the HUGE gray grow out line in my part. Check it out at your local Target, Walmart, Fred Meyer or any other store that carries hair color. My shade is: Light Auburn, Light Reddish Brown. Lastly, Hempz "Touch of Summer" daily mosturizer...in Medium Skin Tones. This is a daily mosturizer with sunless tanner in it. AND...can I just tell you? I love it...it doesn't stink and I don't have that silly orange glow that usually comes with sunless tanner. My sister-in-law, who owns a hair salon & spray tanning joint gave it to me and I'm so glad she did!! That's it for today...tomorrow we're off to Orgeon for camping with our dear friends....AND...I don't have to go back to work until July 22! Can you tell I'm a *little* bit excited??

With Jessie.....

2010-07-08T22:22:00.000-07:00

This is Halle and her cousin Jessie...Pam, Jessie's Mom is my first cousin. We are so blessed to have this family in our lives! This summer Jess is watching Hal on Tuesdays or any other day that works for her. She needs some extra cash and Halle LOVES her...not to mention she loves Jess' friend Pete! Pete and his family also have adopted children.....today they ALL went to the beach and had some fun.....Excuse Hal only in her diaper...she peed through her swim diaper and bathing suit before they left the house...silly girl!!

***These are a few of my favorites from today...Jess, I stole them off your FB page...I knew you wouldn't mind***

Sweet Summer

2010-07-07T11:04:00.000-07:00

It's Summer!! HOORRAYYY....I'm not much for hot weather...I'm sure some of you are booing while reading this. I just don't dig the super hot weather, UNLESS....I'm near a body of water or sprinkler of some sort. That's why I live where I do! This week has been sooooo warm...and I'm trying to do fun things with Hal. SO....today we picked up Kiana, ran a few errands and made it home in time for lunch & a nap. While the little brown girl napped Kiana and made a tutu...she's showing it off in the picture below. We watched a movie, ate popcorn and chatted...it was PERFECT! When Hal woke up we headed outside for some splashpad fun! Both girls were drinking out of the sprinkler at one point and we all had a good time...UNTIL...I went inside to get something and my sweet little girl pulled the screen door shut (it was open)...Mommy crashed right into it. OH MY! Aaron thought Halle would be the one to do that...well, nope....it was ME! Shoot.

Relay for LIFE!

2010-06-25T15:02:00.000-07:00

Wow! Relay has come and gone....and I'm already looking forward to next year! What a super fun time I had. This year, I even stayed ALL night. It was fun, but...I think it took me a few days to recover....1 1/2 hours of sleep isn't *quite* enough for this Mommy! I made Hal a super fun shirt this year and Kiana, along with her friend Kayla stayed up with me. Denise & Caedmon slept in the tent while Rachel and Austin walked and chatted the night away. I'm blessed...blessed to witness all the love and support everyone in our little town gives to all of us who participate each year in Relay for Life. I just love the whole atmosphere of this event....yes, it is emotional, but...in a such a good way. I relay for my Dad, who passed away in 2006 after a 4 1/2 battle with prostate cancer....why do I relay???? My answer short, yet sweet is this, it's so NOT fair that my little girl will NEVER get to meet her Grampie on this side of heaven. If the money we raised saves EVEN ONE life...I want to be a part of it! If you haven't participated in this event in your town...give it a try....make a difference!! Trust me...it's well worth it!

Daddy & Hal chillin' actually, I think she seriously wanted down!

Pretty cherries on her face...no, she's not sucking her thumb...just getting her molars!

Because I can't get this silly formatting to work....here's my description of the pictures.

Mr. Relay....Joel VAN...he was one kick away from winning!
My other partners in crime...ok, Team Captains...Amy VAN & Denise...did I mention it was FREEZING?? It's quite apparent in this picture!
My Dad's Luminaria bags
Such a Silly Girl that Kiana....rest assured she didn't eat ALL of these...
Pretend you're asleep Austin....ah...he was not so good at that!!
Best friends...Kiana & Kayla....thanks girls, you made my night!!

It's official....

2010-06-23T12:35:00.001-07:00

Our house is a MESS...most of the time. Hal does such a super duper job of placing her mark on EVERYTHING in our house. I can seriously say that I never seem to have this place looking the way I would like it to. AND...I'm learning to live with that....like it or not! Dancing with my sweet girl, reading books and snuggling has taken top priority. Let's just take a look at what this place may look like on any given day......

Yes, Hal LOVES stickers...these are my garage sale stickers...they have been put to good use!! And more importantly, it keeps her busy and occupied!

We have quite the collection of books in LOTS of places....

My counter...SHEESH...this bothers me the most! Don't worry all the counter space is not taken up!! Things just seem to take up residence here.

More toys...in Hal's area...

This sweet, sleeping brown girl...seriously how does she do this?? She looks so cute and innocent...not so people, not so. She is full of life and SO much ENERGY!

Daddy's Day

2010-06-20T15:02:00.001-07:00

On this day....we celebrate YOU Daddy!! Thank you for:

wiping my snotty nose
dancing with me to "Liza" and my new favorite the "Trash" song
instilling your love of music in me
loving Jesus with your whole heart
taking such good care of Mommy & Me
"Bringing Home the Bacon" everyday
getting up with me in the middle of night
teaching me about guitars, tractors and lots of animals
telling me I look pretty

Most importantly...teaching me about Jesus and His love for me!!

And a note from Mommy:

Dear Aaron,

Thank you for loving our little girl....for loving me...for believing in her and all her dreams. For taking extra time to blow bubbles with her, walk with her and "Rock-A-Bye" her. A long time ago when we started this long journey I knew I had chosen the very best! You believed in adoption from the get-go and had NO problems with it....even before we were married. You are my ROCK, my sounding board...and you can make me laugh....sometimes when I'm about to cry. You are one HOT handy man and I'm so happy to call you mine! Thank you again for being the BEST Daddy you can be...I appreciate you so much!!

Hugs and lots of kisses,

Your Wife

Friday!!

2010-06-18T12:39:00.000-07:00

Just because it's sunny and friday....I wanted to share another picture with you all.....she thinks sitting in her stuffed animal tote is pretty cool....who cares that she's smooshing them ALL!

What's Happening at our House??

2010-06-17T21:48:00.000-07:00

Lots and lots of things.....we are VERY busy right now. Busy making messes, building towers, reading books, wiping snotty noses, snuggling a sweet little brown girl with allergies, gearing up for Relay for Life....praising Jesus for our new baby nephew who will be born in December (Hooooooraaayyyy to Auntie Leah & Uncle Eddie...we can't WAIT to see this little guy!!)....eating DELICIOUS fresh strawberries....dancing to our Sesame Street "Trash" song....learning from Elmo about the "POTTY".....wearing yellow striped Baby Legs with a so cute flower nightie to bed...using our toothbrush....stealing Mommy's iced coffee in the morning (thank goodness she didn't like it...PHEW!)...and last but, certainly not least....wearing a toy bucket on our heads!!!

Parade Time!

2010-06-05T15:10:00.000-07:00

This is what we did today!! YEP...we're the crazy Daddy and Mommy who left early to get a "good" seat at the parade for our little brown girl!! AND...guess what? It was well worth it. We finished off our day with lunch at the "Dutch Treat"....and so, apparently did everyone else. It was quite the place to be on this sunny Saturday!

Memorial Day Weekend!!!

2010-05-31T13:02:00.000-07:00

For the last many, many years we have gone camping with the TenKley's over Memorial Day Weekend...always to the same place...Birch Bay State Park! Notoriously, it rains...but, it seems like the past couple of years have been relatively nice, well...not this year! It poured most of the time. We did get a break on Sunday and walked down to the beach. Halle LOVED it and we really need to go back soon. Despite the wet weather, mud and pine needles...I loved being with my family and these wonderful friends of ours...I can't wait until next year. Well....let's just say I'll be checking the forecast up until the day we leave! Rain, tents & an almost two year old don't really mix!

Daddy & Hal in the tent Saturday morning...yes, Aaron needs COFFEE!

Running down Grammies SHORT trailer hall

LOVE our flag....

One of many silly faces...

Love this pic of Daddy & His girl...

Sweet Madie girl

Mazie & Rylee

Kyle, Conner & Sydney...digging for clams

Drumming on a bucket....

Writing in the sand with Grammie

Grammie, Mommy & Hal

Watch out...here I come!!!

Silly Girl!

2010-05-16T14:20:00.003-07:00

That's some Big 'Ol Fro you have little Girl...and we LOVE IT!!

Our Church

2010-05-16T13:55:00.000-07:00

I love our church...I could list the reasons here and my post would get very, very long. Every week I learn something new....and I feel like I'm with my family. This morning I went to use the restroom after church was finished. As I sat down I heard two women chatting while washing their hands. One was explaining that she was a new attender to our church and how she just LOVED it. The other was agreeing whole-heartedly. My ears perked up....while the first gal explained that she had only been to about 5 services. And, how, on her first or second visit she had filled out a prayer request card....she explained to the other gal how the transmission went out on her car and she was unable to pay for it as the total bill was $2000. She was ecstatic when the church offered to pay $500 towards the repair of her car and not only that, they were able to find her a shop that would allow her to make payments!! That is the love of Christ working! Thank you NCCTK for listening to Jesus and carrying out his work!! What a generous and loving gift.....

**Edited to add** This just brought to my mind that old chorus: "I'm so glad I'm a part of the family of God, I've been washed in the fountain, cleansed by His blood. Joint heirs with Jesus as we travel this sod, for I'm part of the family, the family of God"

Vote Overstreet

2010-05-14T13:30:00.000-07:00

Warning! This is a shamless plug for our friend Jason Overstreet...and I will not apologize for it. Jason is running for State Representative for the 42nd District. We will vote for him and not just because he is my best friend's husband and I have known him all my life. We believe in what Jason stands for. Before I was married I spent quite a bit of time with the Overstreet's...hanging out with them and their kiddos and loved every minute of it. Now that both of our families have kids and we, unfortunately, live in two towns in the very opposite end of our county we don't see each other near as much. Jason is honest, respectful and a family man to the core. I could list much, much more....but my post would become incredibly long. He and his wife Jessica own a small business, Jason is a firefighter and spent time in the US Military. Jay and Jess have four children: Jake, Savannah, Honor & Justice and they are expecting their fifth child (a sweet little girl) at the end of July. Please do us the honor and vote Overstreet!! You can check out his FB page here.

Uncle Jay, little Hal, Justice & Jake. This was the first time the Overstreet's met our sweet little girl!! Honor & Justice are 1 1/2 months older than Hal.

Halle with her Jason Overstreet sign. Seriously, this little girl went into our room and hauled this out to our living room all by herself. She knows who ROCKS!! Smart girl, don't you think?

Mother's Day Thoughts 2010

2010-05-09T14:57:00.000-07:00

Today is Mother's Day....mine didn't start out so hot. We needed to get to the early service at 9am this morning. So, I hopped in the shower and was in the process of getting ready when Aaron went to wake up our Halle girl. She was taking a her sweet time waking up....that's when Aaron noticed she had spit/thrown up in her crib last night. Um....not a pretty site, but...it could have been worse...much worse. So, Aaron got Hal dressed I stripped the bed of EVERYTHING, mattress pad, sheet, blankets, stuffed animals and even her bumper pad. I didn't want any of that left in her crib. This, of course, put us behind. This is when the day started to get better. I was still untying the bumper when my little girl walked in with a gift bag for me, her Mommy. Inside was a new CD, a card from her & Daddy &....her crayon! She had signed her card and wanted to put the crayon she used in with it too...sometimes we just don't fight her on things. We all made it to church....safe and sound and only 15 minutes late. We enjoyed our lunch at "Anthony's" with Grammie and now, I think I may take a nap. Or enjoy one of my favorite shows while Hal is napping in her crib with her newly laundered sheets....MINUS her bumper pad that still needs to be washed. God is good.......and being a Mommy is a HUGE blessing. Happy Mother's Day!!!

Author Spotlight: Angie Smith

2010-05-02T21:21:00.000-07:00

Will you watch this please?? I have been so blessed by Angie Smith's Blog that she started when she was pregnant with her sweet daughter Audrey Caroline. Audrey is living in heaven with Jesus...because of that she has written this book. I intend to buy a copy and I'm praying some of you may feel the need to do so as well. I can not watch this without kleenex. Get your box ready and be blessed......

Thai Peanut Chicken -- In the Crockpot

2010-04-24T13:30:00.000-07:00

Thai Peanut Chicken -- In the Crockpot

2 to 3lbs chicken drumsticks or thighs**

1 Large red bell pepper, seeded

1 large onion, coarsely chopped

1/2 cup chicken broth

1/4 cup soy sauce

1 T. ground cumin

3 large cloves garlic, minced

1/2 t. red chili pepper flakes

1 t. salt

fresh ground pepper to taste

2 T. corn starch

2/3 cup creamy peanut butter

1 T soy sauce

1/4 cup lime juice

1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro

3 green onions, chopped

1/2 cup chopped roasted peanuts

Remove the chicken skin and place in the crockpot with bell pepper strips and onion. Mix the soy sauce and chicken broth in a measuring cup and pour over chicken. Add cumin, garlic, chili pepper flakes, salt & pepper. Stir well, cover and cook on high for 3 hours.

Whisk together the cornstarch, peanut butter, 1 T. soy sauce & the lime juice. Add 1 cup of the cooking juices from the crockpot. Mix carefully until smooth. Stir back into the crockpot to blend well, but without breaking up the meat.

Cover again and cook for another 20-30 minutes until sauce is well thickened. Garnish with green onions. cilantro & peanuts. Serve with rice

**You can also use 6-8 boneless, skinless breasts cut into strips. If using this option, cook on low for 4-4 1/2 hours. Then bump up the heat to high to cook the sauce.

ps...I used boneless, skinless chicken tenders from Costco (still frozen). I actually thought I had my crockpot on low, but...when all was said and done it was on high...OOPS! I had cooked them for about 4 hours. If you are making this for little kids it was kinda spicey, but...we like our food like that. When I look back on it, I think I may have put TWO tbsp of cumin instead of one. Overall, this got rave reviews and I would definitely make it again. Super good with the garnish...it gives it an extra zip.

Miss Hal

2010-04-23T13:54:00.000-07:00

Check out Hal's new shades she got from Grammie......they are super cute!

Birthdays...

2010-04-14T12:43:00.000-07:00

It was my birthday yesterday. I turned 35....that number doesn't really bother me. I don't feel like I'm that age but, I was crabby yesterday. It didn't feel like my birthday.....I missed my Dad and some family friends that have had one death after another in their family were losing yet someone else. I also didn't want to be at work. Well....not at 6am anyway....Aaron and I had gone out on Saturday night for our birthday's...his is April 5. I was so excited to be out with my husband, but...our plan to eat at "The Olive Garden" was thwarted by a long wait...thirty minutes was too much for us and it was already 6:30pm. We ended up at "Red Robin" instead...I love that place, but...it wasn't what I had in mind. I tried to be happy, happy, happy yesterday, but...it just wasn't happening and frankly, I wasn't turning 3 or something....I'm an adult, right? I'm struggling a bit with these feelings. I'm very thankful God gave me this birthday...and that I get to spend it with my family. BUT...birthdays were always a HUGE thing growing up at home. Birthdays for my husband were NOT a huge thing. So, where do you draw the line, where do you compromise? It is important for me to note that I did receive a BEAUTIFUL large bouquet of flowers from my husband the day before my birthday, he got me (well, kinda us) a Kitchen-Aid Food Processor and yesterday he brought me my new favorite scent from Victoria's Secret "Coconut Passion"...shower gel and lotion...ahhh nice! Just some food for thought...and something I need to work through.....any ideas??

Easter Egg Hunt -- NCCTK Style!

2010-04-03T20:17:00.000-07:00

I just had to share this picture of Halle from today. She went on her VERY FIRST Easter Egg Hunt at church today and did GREAT....we snuck in her in actually, she was supposed to be two. 18 months is close enough isn't it? She's as tall as some two year olds. Yes, I know she has her binky in. It was a binky kind of day. Too bad I lost that binky today....oh well. Our home is well stocked. But, seriously, isn't she super cute? And she picked up the eggs all by herself. We counted as we went....and I called out the colors to her. I'm always trying to make things a learning experience for her. Inside every egg, you guessed it, chocolate! She got to have some tonight....she's just like her Mama! She loves chocolate...she kept asking, "Bite, bite, bite".....Yep....just like me!!

Wordless Wednesday--So Silly!!!

2010-03-24T15:46:00.000-07:00

Peek-A-Boo!!!

2010-03-05T12:56:00.000-08:00

Just some fun stuff with Halle Girl....she's so silly!!

Happy Valentine's Day....

2010-02-14T18:50:00.000-08:00

from Halle Grace....what a difference a year makes.....

Last year...same hair bows.....same little brown girl....

This year...more hair....same hairbows.....lots of smiles!!!

My Girl...

2010-02-13T20:00:00.000-08:00

Here's me and my girl Hal. Can I tell you how much I love her? She's wondering why her Mommy is telling her to smile while she's holding the camera with her other hand and taking the picture. We had some fun in our dooh-rags while Daddy was at church tonight....Mommy didn't feel like doing her hair and Hal wanted a *hat* like Mommy. So, it's a good thing I have a somewhat *large* supply of handkerchiefs on hand at our house. When I take pictures with our little brown girl I also notice how incredibly WHITE I am. I LOVE the contrast. Halle will be 17 months old on February 26. I can not believe this.....Here are some of the things she is doing:

You still sleep from 7:30pm until 7:30am

You LOVE your binky and blankie

Reading books tops the list of your favorite things to do

You love to watch "The Backyardigan's" & "My Friends Tigger & Pooh", but...recently..."Veggie Tales" is your MOST favorite

You have *almost* TWELVE teeth

You say so many words: Daddy, Mommy, TiTi (for Auntie Amber), Nana, Papa, binky, blankie, car, dog, kitty, milk, cracker, ducky, ball, waaie (for water), cookie, cheese, peaches, Kristi, Kai, Bryce, Jess...and the list goes on.......

You LOVE to dance....seriously, this kid can GROOVE!

This week you discovered Mommy & Daddy's legs give GREAT horsie rides...you're all over that!

You are BIG climber...no less than ten times a day we have to tell you to get down and sit on your bum...you think chairs, couches and tables are made for climbing!!

You love when Mommy & Daddy sing to you.

Your THREE favorite things to eat are: cheese, milk & peaches (thank goodness! you aren't eating too well these days...we can't wait for ALL your teeth to come in)

You learned how to say "no" last week...we knew it was coming....it's pretty cute to listen to you say in your little voice, "Halle...NO, NO, NO"...she leaves the H off her name and it sounds like Allie, but...we know what she means.

You also will praise yourself for doing well by saying "Good Girl" just like Mommy, Daddy and Auntie do.

You Halle Grace bring your Mommy & Daddy such joy!!!

Tim Tebow

2010-02-08T14:36:00.000-08:00

I really wish I could get this video on my blog, but I'm having troubles finding a way to upload it. We don't watch sports at our house...I know, I know...my husband is a gear head, not a sports fanatic. I love him EXACTLY the way he is. That being said, I had heard about the Tim Tebow spots during the Superbowl, but...we didn't watch the Superbowl (just a few plays here and there and some of "The Who") and I really wanted to see them. Today on Facebook someone posted this video...watch it...and be blessed! You can also view the Superbowl spots on the Focus on the Family website.

Funny Faces

2010-02-08T10:13:00.001-08:00

HEHEHEHE! Isn't she fun? We sure think so....and she's very, very SILLY!

Fun with the Dunn's....

2010-01-17T10:17:00.000-08:00

Hal LOVED Jess' vacuum

Some quality time with Uncle Josh & Isaac

It was Auntie Dena's birthday on Saturday and she turned the big 3-0! So...we went to celebrate with her. Dena's brother-in-law Wil is attending culinary school right now and he and his wife, Kristen made the MOST delicious food for the party! I've been talking about it ever since. We always LOVE spending time with Dena and her WHOLE family...that includes her Parent's, Grandparent's and siblings....it's always so much fun! Hal is a very social little girl so she does best with lots for her to do and see....this visit she was introduced to Ava (white dog) & Gracie (black dog). Wil & Kristen have TWO Great Dane's and they were along to celebrate Auntie Dena's birthday as well....they did GREAT!! And...as you can well imagine....Halle LOVED them. She is such a dog lover....I think there may be a dog in our future...shhhh..don't tell Daddy!!

Jess and Hal...we're playing this silly game....it was really fun, cant' you tell??

Isaac...putting "pretty's" in Hal's hair...

Hal and Gracie

Silly Face

Ava wanted to vacuum too...

The day after CHRISTmas....

2009-12-26T14:25:00.000-08:00

The day after Christmas is spent with Aaron's family! We eat, open gifts and let the kids play! This year we also got together with Aaron's extended family and we took a picture of the great-grandkids that were there...they are sitting on the very same fireplace that many years ago Aaron and all his cousins sat on. It may seem like A LOT of great-grandkids, but....at least five or more weren't there. Aaron's Dad comes from a big family....and it's lots of fun to see all those people we don't see very often. I made Eden & Hayden tutu's and Hayden is modeling one in the pictures...Halle got a baby buggy from Nana and Papa and she LOVES it...just not when she can't get tables, chairs and people out of the way or...doesn't turn the corner very well.

Reading with her Nana...

Seriously, this was one of about 5 shots...and it's as good as it gets!

All the great-grandkids...Elijah, Jayden, Tate (on Eden's lap), Eden, Hayden, Kai, Bryce and Halle...she's the brown one....hehehe!

CHRISTmas Day 2009

2009-12-25T19:52:00.000-08:00

This probably my most favorite day! I so love hanging out in my sweats with my family....eating my Mom's yummy food...the prime rib was GREAT Mom...you just have to be patient...breakfast casserole...and I made sticky buns for the first time. I think they will be the NEW tradition. We open stockings and then presents. Followed by a day of just relaxing....ohhhhhh....so much fun! Halle got some fun stuff...a stuffed chicken from Great Grammie Carla...she loves to say "cluck, cluck, cluck"...just like her "Barnyard Dance" book....jammies from Grammie, her Little People School and a so fun singing Crayola thing. TiTi got her the cutest outfit from Gymboree and a new baby Cabbage Patch. Aaron got his most favorite gift EVER....a Book about building tube amps. If you want to know about it...you'll have to ask him. He's been in the garage ever since! Just kidding, but...seriously, he LOVES it! I got a super cute, hip, brown purse, cozy slippers...and Lia Sophia necklace and a fun black sweater. Halle slept like a dream in her Pack-n-Play that we put in Grammie's walk-in closet....and Amber added THREE more purses to her collection! SHEESH!! But...most important we all got to spend time together!!!

CHRISTmas Eve 2009

2009-12-24T19:41:00.000-08:00

For Christmas Eve 2009 we started off with Halle waking up to look under the tree and find her Pal Violet from Uncle Shaun and Auntie Heather. She loves her....Violet is a Leap Frog toy and you program her with your computer...she knows Halle's name her favorite food and color. It's been fun to see Hal's face when she sees Violet. Definitely one of her favorite things. My friend Kristin and my Mom came over Christmas Eve morning and had breakfast with Halle and I while Daddy was helping The Grace's move into their new house. The rest of the day was spent preparing for Christmas Eve at my Aunt & Uncle's. Christmas Eve is always spent with my Mom's extended family. We take turns at different houses and this year we were at the Hall's. Halle loves spending time with her cousins and checking out all the new things at other's houses...we just have to keep on extra good eye on her. We ate a yummy meal...I think Halle ate her weight in ham....and then opened our gifts. We draw names and the guys have a grab bag gift of sorts. This year Daddy got a battery charger with AA and AAA batteries...those will definitely come in handy at our house for all Hal's toys. He also got a HUGE Mr. Goodbar and the gift that keeps on giving: My Dad's UW headband. Just a little background on this...last year we gave that with Aaron's gift to Colby in hopes that it would be the gift that kept on coming back. It's a great way to remember my Dad and he would think it was so funny! You see, my Dad and Uncle Gary are the ONLY Huskie fans on that side of the family. HEHEHE!!

***Please excuse our grainy pictures...somehow the settings on the camera got changed...gee, I wonder how that happened??***

Christmas JOY!

2009-12-18T12:26:00.001-08:00

This is Hal and I last Saturday. We weren't sure how she would react to the tree, hence the "corral". While I was *trying* to put up the ornaments/garland last friday she was right behind me trying to take them off and pushing me OUT of the corral. Little Turkey! But, this week Halle went to her "Auntie's" and didn't touch ONE tree or ornament. So, the corral has now been taken down and she hasn't touched our's once since then. What you can't see in this picture is her reaction....she is in total AWE of this tree and it's sparkling lights and "pretty" decorations. I was explaining to Hal about the star on the top and the lights and the ornaments. She is soaking it all in....I can't wait for her to open up her gifts and spend time with her family! We have a book that I bought for her last Christmas that tells the story of Baby Jesus and Christmas. We have been trying to read that to her and singing lots of "Jesus Loves Me"...and she's working on saying "Jesus"...He is the Jesus for the Season....please, let's not forget that. It's so easy to get caught up in everything else. But, he truly is the reason!!

Fetching the Christmas Tree!

2009-12-08T20:08:00.000-08:00

The weather was beautiful yet oh so chilly on Sunday, but...we needed our tree and Grammie needed her's....so off we went. We all bundled up really good, but...Mommy forgot Halle's gloves.....She could hardly move anyway! But...boy did she look cute. We would have more pictures, but...she decided she would rather be *running* around and not hanging out with Mommy & Daddy. We did manage to get some pictures with Grammie and while Hal was chillin' in the Ergo on Mommy's back!! Don't you love Halle's new hat that her Nana made for her!!?? It's so cute!! I promise to post some pictures of our Christmas tree and decorations soon.....

Just because

2009-11-20T11:16:00.000-08:00

I should be making cookies, folding laundry and cleaning my house, but...I'm not! Because for a few weeks now this has really been on my heart. Often I will think of something I want to post about and mull it over for weeks on end. I want my posts to be meaningful and really want to express how I'm feeling, but...sometimes, it just doesn't come out right. I'm hoping and praying this will not be one of those times. Just recently, two very good friends of mine have delivered new babies! Because I love them and their families I have made meals for both of them. Also, recently I have become acquainted (through Facebook) with a sweet gal I graduated with who, like me, has experienced loss in her life. She and her husband have also experienced infertility, with her most recent loss just months ago. She has quickly become someone I treasure corresponding with. You see, when you've gone through infertility and loss you gravitate to others who have been through what you have. They are the ones who understand what you have been through and why you feel the way you do. This gal, let's just call her "A" and her husband have also adopted a daughter. We have a huge connection there as well. A few weeks ago,"A" congratulated me for being able to make meals for my friends and spend time with them and their new babies. I thought about this and wondered how it could be such and accomplishment? I quickly realized that "A" was where I had been at one time. I would never have been able to do this when I was SMACK in the middle of our TTC'ing journey. It hurt...and it hurt A LOT! I couldn't even look at another pregnant woman without hanging my head and crying!! Jesus took that from me....He mended my broken heart and gave me a gift! I shared with "A" that it was when I gave my infertility over to Jesus that I felt free....and after sharing this with Aaron he reminded me of something else. When the focus is taken off of oneself it is so much easier. And, to be very honest with you...it is so healing for me. Not to mention the snuggles I get...who wouldn't like snuggling with new little people?? My Jesus has given me a gift....that is serving & giving! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to make meals and bake for others. I would spend my life savings (right now that's not much) on others. Not only is that gift God given, it's been passed down through three generations. My Mom is the very same way, and her Mom, my Grandma Rose taught her this gift. I'm thankful, very thankful for these women in my life. I wish my Grandma Rose was here today...she would love to see this in action!! So, "A", I hope you don't mind me sharing this. I'm praying Jesus blesses you with an unexpected gift...I'm praying you'll get to the place where you can spend time with others who are pregnant and love on their babies....you would do an incredible job!!

My best friend

2009-11-11T20:11:00.001-08:00

Just yesterday I received the BEST message on my cell phone. That was from my BFF Jess! She just told me she was thinking about me!! I loved that...she also said she despised Facebook...that's because all her dear friends don't post on their blogs anymore because of it!! So, in honor of my dear friend I'm going to try and do better. She and I have been friends since we really didn't know we were friends. We grew up in the same church, in the same nursery doing the same silly things...we are six months apart and were in the same grade in school. Even though we live in the same county, we don't see *nearly* enough of each other. Living at opposite ends of the county just doesn't work well. She is an AMAZING Homeschooling Mama of four kiddos, Jake 9, Savannah 8 and twin boys, Honor & Justice that turned 1 in August. We have seen each other through lots and lots of ups and downs in our lives. We went shopping for training bras together, ok...I already had mine I just went along to give moral support....stole road signs together...I wasn't in my right mind...my boyfriend and I had just broke up, that's my excuse...wore more make-up at age 12 then we do now...gotta love the bright blue & green mascara....went along with all the fads including stirrup pants and long sweaters as well as matching shirts from the "Cube" to start off our high school years. I remember riding in her blue Chevy Luv to a District Basketball game and scrounging through her ash tray for enough change to buy two "Cheeseburger All-American" Meals. She has been with me through the death of my Dad and my infertility and she was one of the first to call me after learning about Halle Grace. She makes me smile and challenges me in my faith. She knows how to put me in my place gently, when I most need it. She has loved me through ALL stages of my life. Jess is one of those friends who could move away (she did right after high school) for years and when she comes back....it is like she's never been gone. You pick up right where you left off!! I can count on her to eat my Snickerdoodles, Mac-N-Cheese & Monster Cookies. She also got me in big trouble, I had to make dinner for a week, when I was in High School. I said our dinner looked like dog food....she told my Mom I said dog *poop*...not so good!! AND...guess what I still love her!! I love her so much I had to dig up this picture of her and I on her wedding day.....I wish I had a picture of the two of us together now! We're going to work on that....I love you Jessica Mary!!! Thanks for reading my blog......xoxoxoxoxox

Wordless Wednesday--Soooo CUTE!

2009-11-04T12:15:00.000-08:00

Our TEXAS Adoption Journey - Part 2

2009-10-12T12:03:00.000-07:00

I had to go back and see where I left off. We had just received the phone call from Christian Homes and received the pictures of OUR daughter...Halle Grace. We made the necessary calls to family members right then and there at Aaron's work. I asked my Mom is she was ready to be a Grandma...she wasn't sure right then, I insisted she better figure it out....she now had a Granddaughter. Aaron's Mom cried.....as did almost everyone I talked to that I called. I called Miss Dena right away with the news...I knew she would want to know. Those moments I will treasure forever. I love all the enthusiasm we got from each and every person who loves us! I did go back to work that day, but...I don't think I got very much done!! Everyone at work gathered around as I pulled up the picture of our daughter....oh...it was so cute. We spent the next week preparing to leave for Texas. I washed more pink clothes than I had my WHOLE life. Everyone wanted to shower Halle with gifts. Grammie & Auntie Amber went shopping and bought practically a whole wardrobe. We packed our suitcases and really didn't know how long we would be gone. Aaron could only stay for a week so, we were praying we would be back in a week with Halle. AND...that would be Thanksgiving Day. During this time I contacted a friend of mine, Rachel. A friend I had only met over the internet through an infertility website I have posted on since 2005 when Aaron and I had begun the long journey of trying to conceive. Rachel lives very near Austin, TX and had offered her home for us to stay in. We chatted on the phone and it felt like I had known her FOREVER! If she lived here or I lived there we would so be friends forever!! We took Rachel up on her offer. The plan was this. We would fly into Dallas (we used air miles and could only fly into that airport)...drive to Tyler, stay there for three nights and drive to Austin to stay with Rachel and her family for as long as we needed. Wednesday night before we left neither Aaron nor I could sleep..we were so excited! Our flight left at the crack of dawn...5:40am...but, that didn't matter we were too excited. We arrived at the airport, empty infant car seat in tow, faces aglow. I can not tell you how many people asked about that empty car seat. It was a good lead-in for the story of Halle. Our flight to Texas was uneventful...for that we were glad! We arrived in Dallas and made our way to the rental car counter. Can I just tell you how glad I was to have my husband with me. He is so great with all of this stuff and had it planned out. We finally got our car and began our journey to Tyler...first stop..."Sonic"...at the time we didn't have one near us and we couldn't wait to experience that. We arrived in Tyler after a small detour. Well, this city has a two *loops* in it...everything is on a loop...kinda confusing, but...we finally found our way to our hotel. A Marriott of course, Residence Inn I think. It had a small sitting area, table & chairs and little kitchen. We we got into the room the "Pack-n-Play" was already set up for little Halle. That night we ate dinner at "Chili's"...that's another place we wished we had here. We just don't have one close enough! Aaron and I immediately noticed the Texas hospitality...we have NOTHING like it here in Washington. I wanted to take our waitress home with us!! HEHEHE! We wanted to get a good night's sleep as the next day we would meet Halle, her Birth Mom & her foster family. How does one prepare for that?? Well, we prayed a lot! AND...I didn't eat much breakfast the next morning...I was way too nervous. I spent time on the Hotel's computer the next morning updating this very blog and my Facebook status....the clock on the computer was wrong and I only had minutes to pack Halle's diaper bag and get to the car....and we were off to the agency to meet Halle Grace.....