Life

When I was a young girl attending High School in Lynden I never imagined I would be 39, married with two adopted children living in Sumas.  See, that wasn't my plan, but without a shadow of a doubt that was HIS plan.  Our Jesus has a way of doing that.  While in High School I went on a couple short term mission trips where I learned that not everyone lives the way we all did in Lynden.  Houses were shacks, floors were dirt and you couldn't even flush the toilet in some places.  The water stank of sulfur and we showered in our bathing suits on a cement slab with a garden hose.  I was a long way from home, but I loved every minute of it.  Plus, let's be honest I got my first ever real tan, that's rare for this redhead.

It's super easy for us to take all we have for granted.  I've been thinking about that lately.  You see, we live in a small condo with our two girls and all our stuff.  We do not have much more than a square patio for our outside area and the parking lot.  We are full to the gills.  That's speaking kindly.  My house is cluttered with baby toys, blankets, dishes and all we use to live in our space. That's right, we live here.  It is our place.  Ours.  I've learned that being content with what God has given you is so important.  When we moved some 9 years ago, we didn't plan on staying here for this long.  We wanted our daughter to start school in Lynden, but…that's not how it worked. Our Jesus has a plan. Halle loves her school, her Teacher and her friends.  She loves walking there each morning and riding the bus to her friends one day a week.  And you know what?  I love it too.

I think it's important to remember that your house, your car, your town and your money do not define you and make you who you are.  Your identity should be found in our Jesus.  He is the true "giver of life".  So, my house maybe small, cluttered and "in the boonies", we may not live in what some people call the "best" town, but…our Jesus placed us here for a reason.

**We snuck in while they were building our house and placed this over the door.  It's hidden, but…we know it's there**

Fun with Halle...

Because my posting has been SLACKING lately...I thought I'd share with you what's been happening around our house....in PICTURES!! Enjoy!

This is Daddy & Halle...she LOVES it when he plays his guitar...and frankly, who doesn't??

A WHOLE lot of mess...this is "Halle's" cupboard in the kitchen....

And...when she tires of that...she goes to another one...she needed a BIGGER teether!

Mommy & Halle...sporting her mousie towel for Mor Mor!

YUM-O....Mango Pomegranate fruit bar....what a great treat!!

Special Delivery

Join me in congratulating my friend Jess (she did all the work), her husband and their kids Jake & Savannah!  Jess gave birth to twin boys today!  She ROCKS!  And I don't say this lightly!  She delivered the boys naturally...that means without an epidural!  Here are the stats:

Honor Lloyd 6lbs 6oz and Justice Elliott 6lbs 12oz....both are about 20" long. 

Aaron and I went to see them tonight...they are so cute and cuddly!  Honor has lots more hair and it's kinda red.  Justice's is kinda blond!  Actually, we think Justice looks like Savannah and Honor looks like Jake! We are so thankful God provided these two sweet boys to their family....and we can't wait to see them grow up to be amazing Men of God...just like their Daddy!!  

Never Let Go

So....this week my commute increased from 20 minutes to 40 minutes. I was not very happy about this in the beginning....I've known for a few months that the location of my work was changing. But...today, I had a revelation of sorts. I can pray! DUH! I can use those twenty extra minutes and focus on my ever growing prayer list. This morning I put in my copy of the David Crowder Band--Remedy. I love this CD...and so does my husband. We are both big David Crowder Band fans. That is why we were so excited to attend their concert in October of 2007. What a treat! Anyway, I digress...on my way to work I was enjoying the sunshine...thank you Jesus and worshipping with this CD. I just had to share this song with you all....I love it. Now, granted I have listened to this CD many, many times, but....sometimes the words will just begin to minister to you. I so love it when that happens. It happened to me this morning. So, while praying and worshipping with my eyes filled with tears (don't worry, they were open) my 40 minute commute was not wasted. Here are the lyrics:

"Never Let Go"

When clouds veil sun

And disaster comes

Oh, my soul

Oh, my soul

When waters rise

And hope takes flight

Oh, my soul

Oh, my soul

Oh, my soul

Ever faithful

Ever true

You I know

You never let go

You never let go

You never let go

You never let go

When clouds brought rain

And disaster came

Oh, my soul

Oh, my soul

When waters rose

And hope had flown

Oh, my soul

Oh, my soul

Oh, my soul

Oh, my soul

Overflows

Oh, what love, oh, what love

Oh, my soul

Fills hope

Perfect love that never lets go

Oh, what love, oh, what love

Oh, what love, oh, what love

In joy and pain

In sun and rain

You're the same

Oh, you never let go

It just became so evident to me that no matter what God is there. No matter what you have gone through or are going through HE NEVER LETS GO!! Isn't that so cool?? In joy and pain, sun and rain. I think we forget He's there when we're in the sun, but...oh boy, when the rain comes we cling to Him like never before. We need to remember he's there for us at ALL times.

Our Journey - Part 2

Let's begin where I left off. After I had the second miscarriage the Doctor ordered a LONG line of blood tests for me. Oh joy. If I remember correctly, by the time I was finished that day, I had given ten vials of blood. Not all of the the tiny, average ones. By this time, I knew the girls at Northwest Regional Lab really well. And...can I just say...they were great. But...I couldn't say the same about my Doctor, which is why we made the decision to switch in January 2007. By word of mouth we chose a wonderful Godly, ARNP who specializes in infertility. She is sympathetic, caring and I absolutely love her. I remembering leaving her office after my first appointment, full of hope and so excited and satisfied. I felt like someone finally understood me. That is the BEST feeling. She right away suspected I had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, but...wanted to have me tested for Insulin Resistance. More blood work for me. This is the glucose test that all you pregnant women dread having....you get to drink the oh so yummy drink and wait to have your blood drawn. Sweet. I spent my Saturday morning at the lab doing that. My results came back with a **slight** elevation after the second draw. So...it was Metformin for me. This is what diabetics take to regulate their blood sugar. AND...this in addition to Clomid is what helped us to conceive yet again in April 2007. This time I was doing everything right...I was taking a progesterone supplement....taking it easy and we didn't tell anybody. All was seemingly well. We went away for the weekend....I was about 6 weeks along...I woke up that Saturday morning with terrible stomach cramps...my heart sunk. I just knew. That was it. I remember laying on the floor in so much pain...telling Aaron I just could not do this again. I was really done this time. And...so was he. A big thank you to my friend Dena and her husband, Josh. They let us invade their home that weekend and overstay our welcome. We so appreciate them and the way they let us grieve. They took care of us and we are forever grateful. I took a whole week off of work and just stayed home to "get better". It was like reading the final chapter in a book. One that you didn't want to open up again unless you had a big box of kleenex. Through all of this we had so much support from those we love. I found a wonderful website when we first starting TTC. I have been posting there for three years (and I continue to do so to this day) and feel like these women are a huge part of my life. They all know the ups and downs of trying to have a baby and I'm so grateful for each of them. Within the next few weeks we made the decision that would forever change our lives. Adoption....

Our Journey -- Part 1

Some of you who may not know us very well may not know about our journey through infertility. I just wanted to share that with you, the readers of our blog, our friends and family. I was just thinking how I couldn't believe it had been three whole years since we started this whole TTC (trying to conceive) process. Wow!! It seems like it was just yesterday but, it also seems like it's been ten years not just three. Aaron and I were eager to start a family after we had spent about 1 1/2 years as a married couple. After about a year and many charts (sheesh...don't you just love taking your temperature every morning???), many appointments with my Naturapath, many tears and much prayer we decided to seek help from an OB/GYN. She put me on Clomid, an oral fertility drug that is taken during the first part of your cycle to help with ovulation. OH, I forgot to mention I wasn't ovulating very often on my own. The first month....I ovulated...HOOORAAAYYY, but...Aaron was out of town...not so good for babymaking. The second month we conceived and all was well! I didn't feel too sick, we were excited, I was reading "What to Expect When You're Expecting" we told everyone we could think of. I was so **sure** nothing was going to happen. I arrived to my first OB appointment eager and full of anticipation, without Aaron. They took some blood work, I filled out a lot of paper work and then we started the ultrasound. Imagine my dismay when the Doctor pronounced, "Looks like you're having a miscarriage". What??? She hands me a box of kleenex, I don't cry, I'm in HUGE shock. So many thoughts running through my head, my Mom hadn't had any miscarriages, aren't they hereditary? No. I really need my husband, where is my husband? We have to tell all these people. What do we say? How does one handle this? I collected my thoughts and listened to the Doctor explain that there was a sac, but no heartbeat and we had a few options to induce this miscarriage. Oh great! Just what I wanted to hear. We could wait it out and see what happens on it's own, not so great...I was thinking this was going to happen while I was walking down the street, getting groceries, worshipping at church. Not the best option and certainly not convenient, but...when is a miscarriage? I could use some medication (Misoprostol) that would cause my cervix to soften and start contracting. This would be uncomfortable, but I could do it at home. I would be given pain medication and instructions. Third option was a D&C. Nope, didn't want to do this. I left the office still in shock. My first call was to Aaron, he immediately left work to join me. My next call was to my second Mom, Marj. She works with me and is a longtime family friend. I explained the situation through tears and said I would not be in for the rest of the day. Aaron and I grieved that day. For the baby that would not be born in December 2005. We cried, oh did we cry. We just looked at each other and held each other and prayed. And tried so hard to remember this "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11 We called Aaron's parents and went to my parent's house. They prayed with us. We went home and tried to move on. I cried for at least a week....at home, at work, in the car. My husband was my rock. We prayed some more and I used the medication a week after my appointment. The Doctor had told me there was a chance this wouldn't work. You're kidding me right? This needed to work....more prayer. Late on a friday evening I used the medication. It worked. I started contracting about 20 minutes after I used it. Oh my word, the pain. If this is what labor would be like I would definitely need the epidural....I used the pain medicine and more ibuprofen. Aaron ran from our bedroom to the microwave heating up my rice bag. My dear husband. Oh how I love him. Our baby passed from my body and into Jesus' arms. I recovered and 1 1/2 months later I was pregnant again. I started spotting a week after I took the test. Ectopic pregnancy suspected. Blood draws weekly. Ultrasounds and more Doctor's visits later I was sent to the hospital to await a shot of methotrexate. Actually, two to be exact, right in the 'ol butt. I had a new found respect for my Dad who was going through cancer treatment and needed to get shots like that monthly. Don't look these drugs up on google...they're scary. Trust me. I waited for two hours, I'm not kidding. How exasperating. The only place I could get the medication was at the hospital. Later I found out that wasn't true. I made sure to relay that message to my Doctor's office. I could not believe I was going through this again. I had been trying to call Aaron through all of this...come to find out he was in Sudden Valley and had NO cell service. Figures. I got the shots and waited. They worked. And, our second baby passed from my body and into Jesus' arms the very next day. I was done. So done. I sat in our newly purchased glider rocker (in the newly appointed nursery) and cried....for all we had lost. For our baby that would not be born in our birthday month and possibly share one of our birthdays...for the second Mother's Day that I would still not be a Mother here on earth. Only the peace that passes all understanding got us through. Aaron was so optimistic...things will go better next time..let's keep trying. As I mentioned earlier, my Dad had cancer and later on that month we moved him to a nursing home. My Mom could no longer care for him at home. One day I was visiting him and he looked me straight in the eye and told me we couldn't quit. How could we turn him down? He hadn't given up. His body had been through hell and still he pressed on. When he had nothing left he clung to Jesus. And...so that is what we did. The next couple of months we spent focusing on us and Dad..he was terminal. My Dad passed away in November 2006. Before he passed I was able to give him this very important message, "You're a Grandpa now...take care of my babies for me." And I'm sure he's doing just that.

Airport noise forgotten?

Well...the de-humidifier and all the fans are gone!!! HOOOORAAYYYY!!!! But, we're still sleeping in the office and our carpet won't be back to normal until Wednesday. Just a warning: Don't do laundry while you're gone. We are so thankful we were home. SHEESSSHHH!!!

ServiceMaster to the Rescue...

Well...an update to our minor flood. Aaron and I got up on Thursday morning to a squishy carpet still. We had to wear our shoes everywhere went. What a pain. So, I get to thinking about all of this at work on Thursday and decided it would be best to call our trusty insurance agent, Pam. She just happens to be my cousin and the service is top notch!! After a phone call to Aaron it was decided we would call ServiceMaster. Am I ever glad!!! We did not know what damage had been done. So....now our house sounds like an airport....just listen...can't you hear the air movement? We're sleeping in our office and all of our stuff is in places that it shouldn't be. But...God is good! We were home when it happened and we're safe...a little annoyed with the disarray of our surroundings. Oh that's probably just me.....over and out from our noisy home to yours!!!

Joy like a Fountain!??

So...I'm minding my own business while Aaron is cleaning up the dinner dishes. I'm on the computer oblivious to anything else....just relaxing. Anyway...I turned on the printer and it was making a HORRIBLE noise..right about that time I hear Aaron from down the hallway...."we have a problem here"....I'm thinking everything seems fine to me, but...boy did we ever have a problem on our hands. Right before sitting down to dinner I had started a load of laundry....what both of us didn't know when we sat down was that our washing machine was going to OVERFLOW!!! Yes, that's what a I said. Good Grief!!! So, we had about an inch of water in our little laundry closet and the water had leaked all over the hallway, into our bedroom, into the entry way...I have no idea how it did that...under the wall I guess. Aaron had towels everywhere when I brilliantly suggested we use the wet/dry vacuum. Thank you Jesus!! It's a small one, but...it's doing it's job. I did take some pictures...so, hopefully I'll get those on here. So, we're not sure, but...it looks like our washing machine was stuck on the fill cycle. Can you imagine? SHEEEESH!!! Hopefully, it was just a fluke. We can't really afford a new washing machine right now. AND...we have to have a stackable set. Well...that's the most exciting Wednesday night we've had in a long time! We've had some issues with our plumbing ever since we moved in. I think we'd only been here a few weeks when I came home to water dripping from our ceiling. A chunk of our ceiling had to be replaced...so, "Professional Plumbing" strikes again. Can you even believe that's their name? Seriously! But...the jury's still out...it could the machine and not the plumbing.

***It's now 10:40pm and our load of laundry is FINALLY in the dryer. So, alas, it was the washing machine, but...we're pretty sure it's fixed. We have NO idea why it decided to stick like it did. Big thanks to Aaron's Mom, she brought us their carpet cleaner.....it worked great to suck up all the water. I think we'll still need it for a few days. It still feels squishy in some parts. Thank goodness we have cement floors under our carpet and padding. Ok...hopefully, it's off to bed for us***