The Quilt

Yes.  The quilt.  This is Elliott's.  It was given to us by our church at his Memorial Service.  It is so special and one of the only tangible things I have that is his alone.  It sat in a hidden place for about a year or so.....when I took it out I was having a particularly hard day.  One where the tears wouldn't stop and thoughts of my sweet boy were so vivid and clear.  Really, I don't know why I waited so long.  I remember when Pastor Kurt handed that quilt to me at the service.  Explaining that when we had a hard day we should wrap this around us and let His love hold us.  It worked.  I really just wanted to hold something that was his.  In my arms.  Tight.  The blanket smelled a little musty like that hidden closet and I washed it later that day.  AND....now it stays under my pillow.  I know it's there and somehow it makes me feel just a little bit closer to my boy.  The one who's picture hangs on my living room wall and fills my heart with joy.....knowing that when I get to Heaven one day.  He'll be there.  March 3 passed a few weeks ago and you know what?  I made it.  I chose JOY over sorrow knowing that Elliott was with the one who created him and holds everything in His hands.  He is faithful friends.  I know that this journey has not been an easy one, but...I wouldn't change it.  Yes, I would change the outcome, more than anything I wish he was here with us.  But, Jesus is molding me through all of this.

He has brought people into my life when I needed them most.  My friend Trisha and I share the bond of having lost our children too soon. Both in the same month, as Megan and Elliott have birthdays just one day apart.  She and I did not grow up together, attend the same church when young or even go to the same school.  Yes, we do go to the same church now.  But, we have a bond and our friendship is growing...and I love it.  She is one of the people that really, truly understands me and what I have been through.  Our Jesus blesses us when we are together.  And, our girls, both age four love to play together.  Well, most times.  They have very similar personalities and sometimes that doesn't mix well.  But, they too are learning and sharing...and growing.  Together.  And you know what?  That blesses me.

The Pioneer Woman....Oh How I love THEE.

If I could, and believed in this silly sort of stuff....I would be Ree Drummond in my next life. That's right.  The Pioneer Woman for those of you who don't know.  AND....if you don't, you are seriously missing out.  She is seriously the best....from her red hair (yes, I'm very partial) to her swing tops and so cute cowboy boots.  And...she lives on a ranch in Oklahoma in the middle of no where.  We call my In-Law's house "The Ranch" and my Father-in-Law has a handful of horses....will that work??  This girl can cook....let me tell you.  Her recipes are more than loved at our house.  She makes great comfort food.....some fancy stuff too, and every.single.thing. that I have tried has been a hit with my lovely husband.  Her  Meatloaf, wrapped in bacon and covered in a spicy ketchup sauce, her Sloppy Joes (sorry Mom, I like hers better!), Chicken spaghetti, Salisbury Steak & Beef with Snow Peas.  Just typing all of this makes me so hungry.  Do you like stew?  I really normally don't, but....her Stew with Beer & Paprika rocked my socks off.  It renewed my love of stew....and my husband could not be more happy with that.  Check out her website/blog and by all means, buy yourself not just one, but...both of her cookbooks. Watch her show on Saturday mornings on the Food Network. And as I told my friend Jess, "Cook this stew and your husband will want to marry you all over again!"  Yes, friends....it's seriously that good.

ALL things Musical

It was evident very early on that our girl LOVES all things musical.  That has only grown as she's gotten older.  She is passionate about music.  And when I say that what I really mean is she is utterly, crazy, wild about it.  Any kind. Any beat.  She does not stop singing ever. Her Daddy also loves music and grew up in a very musical family.  He plays and even builds guitars, sings and so does Halle's Nana. Aaron has done an incredible job teaching our girl about instruments and what they sound like.  Our music library is very eclectic.  If you sort through iTunes on our computer you'll find everything from Elvis to BB King and then Jason Aldean, Keith Urban & Sugarland. Lots of worship music and plenty of classic rock too.  Music speaks to us sometimes when others can't.  From early in our relationship Aaron has made me soundtracks from our life.  I have at least four "April Mix" CD's and the first one titled "Songs that Make me Think of April" for when we were dating.  We have a CD from my Dad's funeral and one for sweet Elliott. And....recently I found the soundtrack to our wedding titled "A Winter Wonderland".  That is when Halle discovered her love of Elvis.  It's pretty funny to hear your four year old from the back seat asking to listen to Elvis.  And it makes me smile.  BIG.  She is so her Daddy's daughter.  She's usually right when you ask her what instrument is playing.  And I recently asked her "Does your body just start moving when you hear music?" She nodded her head a resounding yes.  Sometimes I feel like asking her not to dance is like asking you or I not to breathe.  "Twirly" skirts and dresses are a huge favorite in our house right now.  They allow for a lot of spinning.  Especially while watching "Annie".  Her new favorite dancing movie.  I can't tell you how many times we had to fast-backward (for all you that don't know that means rewind, in Halle terms) the scene where Annie brings Sandy home to the orphanage and they all dance.  Halle longs to do "flip-overs" and practice all the moves.  And the scene where she goes to stay with Daddy Warbucks and they go to the movies....my goodness.  I have seen that so many times I can probably recite it verbatim.  I'm sure our Jesus has BIG plans for this little girl and her huge love of music.  I can't wait to see what they are.  Until then, we'll keep dancing and twirling....pouring into her.

Our New Pets

That's right folks. We are the proud owners of two goldfish.  Darby and Tutu.  They reside in Halle's room. And to say she loves them is probably a gross understatement.  She talks to these fish like they are people.  "Look at my hair"...."Good night fishies"....."See you in the morning".  You may be wondering where we came up with such clever names.  Well....Hal and I were having a conversation about naming them on the way home for the pet store.  She wanted to name one "Dorothy"...like Elmo's fish.  I wasn't so keen on that.  But, I did start thinking about "The Wizard of Oz"....and Dorothy and Toto.  But, then my brain went into overdrive.  One of Halle's most favorite Veggie Tale's DVD's is "The Wizard of Ha's". Which, as I'm sure you've guessed, is a spoof on "The Wizard of Oz".  AHA. The little boy in the movie is "Darby" and his companion, not a dog, but...a Pig....named, that's right folks, "Tutu".  Perfect.  Just like the pink and purple rocks with the matching plant.  Sigh.  You can't win them all, right?

Silly Sunday!

Because....sometimes we all need a laugh....and let's face it.  Tutus work well as wigs & hats too!

A WHOLE Bunch of Silly!

That's right.  Paige, Paityn & Lincoln came to our house to play for a Saturday so our Titi could sleep & their Daddy could work.  Look at this silly bunch!  We definitely had our hands full!

Our bike riding, tutu wearing Big Girl!

Yep, that's her...tutu, stripes and all.  She's all ours and we LOVE her exactly the way she is!!

Happy Valentine's Day....

From the cutest little brown girl EVER!

Jesus and the Boat

Can I just tell you how very much I love this little picture??  With it comes a story.  On Sunday we went to pick Halle up from her Sunday School Class....she, like always, runs up to meet us callling "Mommy, Daddy!".  I love that this never gets old for her....She never tires of greeting us after we've been away.  Even for a short time.  On this morning, she handed me the above picture.  I looked at it and asked her what it was. Her answer was simple.  Jesus and a boat.  I then asked what Jesus was doing.  "Walking on the water!" She answered with such passion and excitement...and even jumped up and down clapping her hands.  This I also LOVE.  She is such a passionate, right on kind-of-girl.  Inside and out I was beaming.  Our little girl was listening, she was getting this thing we call faith.  Understanding the reason why we go to this place called church.

Wordless Wednesday -- Family at it's Finest

Our silly Family....it doesn't get any better than this!

Prayers Answered

I have waited an incredible amount of time for one of these to be placed on my fridge.  I consider these a "stamp of Mommy approval".  When I was in High School and Middle School for that matter I taught the 2-3 year old Sunday School class at my church.  Later after I graduated from High School I taught Pre-School for two years....I so envied those Mommy's receiving their treasured artwork from their son or daughter.  I could not wait for the day I would be a Mommy and have artwork to put on my fridge.  My road to motherhood has been ever so long and quite bumpy at times, but...when my girl brings home these treasures I melt.  I will display these proudly for all to see.  Yes, my fridge may look messy and I might need to buy more magnets, but...my heart is full and Halle is so very excited when she gets to see these everyday.  

This Thursday Halle had her very first Christmas Program at our church.  Of course, with all the kids it was so hard to see our girl.  Yes, I was that Mommy that grabbed her camera to trek to the other side of the church just to get a better view.  I'm so glad I did.  I will tell you it was hard to hold the camera, take pictures and control the tears from flowing.  Little kids in Christmas Programs have always made me emotional....now that I have my own little girl in the mix I was even more so.  WOW.  Our Jesus is so faithful.  Sometimes, it felt like I would never have a Christmas Program to attend as a Mommy.  When she was singing those songs and doing every.single.motion. my heart was bursting with pride for my little girl.  AND...she's pretty cute if I do say so myself.  I was so glad the dress her Foster Mommy made her last year still fit.  It was perfect.  And yesterday Halle wanted to do the very same thing all.over.again.  I love that girl!

Memorial Tats

Yes, we did it.  In honor of our son, both Aaron and I got tattoos last friday.  Which just also happened to be the anniversary of my Dad's heavenly graduation.  Yes, the footprints are true to size....and the three hibiscus represent the other three miscarriages I had.  The verse is significant to me because without a shadow of a doubt I believe all my babies were a gift....straight from our Jesus.  And...their sister Halle also has a sign in her bedroom with James 1:17 on it.  "Laus Deo" means "Praise be to God" in Latin....Aaron has had this phrase on a post-it-note attached to our printer for months now.  I think even before we found out I was pregnant.  It is so important to him.  Just because my husband is creative and all that stuff, he designed both of these tattoos.  Did I mention I love him very much for doing this?  It is definitely his way of processing October 13 and the days that lead up to it.  You know what? We will show these off proudly.....and what a testimony.  I have already ministered to many with these tattoos.....do I believe Jesus works through these??  You bet I do!  And...my Dad would be proud!

Just Because

I'm very thankful for this little brown girl in her penguin jammies loving on her pillow pet!!  

Halle Berry Fairy

Happy Halloween from our Halle Berry Fairy....love that costume??  She has her Nana to thank!

Sprinkler Fun!

This day had been HOT...we have had an incredibly cool June and because the sun was shining all day....it was still close to 75 degrees when we got home from work.  Halle quickly ate dinner, changed it her swimsuit and set outside to have some sprinkler fun.  This little girl has certainly grown more fond of the water.  Daddy and Mommy enjoyed their dinner on the patio watching our little brown girl!  What a perfect way to end the day!!

Some "Light" Reading

Hooray for a Sewing Nana!!

Halle has been in her BIG girl twin bed now since the end of October.  She is doing GREAT....and doesn't even need the extra side rail anymore. In the beginning she was using Mommy's old denim duvet cover.  We were waiting for Nana to have some extra time so she could put together a duvet cover for us.  She stopped by last week with this FABULOUS set!  Can I just tell you...she ROCKS her sewing machine.  I provided the striped fabric (two queen flat sheets) and gave her a few ideas of what I would like.  Check out the final results!  It should be noted that Halle LOVES all of this...in fact she laid down on it and exclaimed "PERFECT!!"

"PERFECT!"

All set up on her bed....the headboard and frame were Mommy's...we just gave it a fresh coat of paint.

AND...extra special...Nana made a matching set for her baby bed...now "Ruby" & "Chole" can sleep in comfort as well!!

"Twirly" Skirt Tube Top....

This is a typical Sunday morning at our house.  Who says you can't wear your "twirly" skirt as a tube top??  With your pajama bottoms no less. When you're almost two 1/2 the Fashion Police aren't so quick to critique you.  Thank goodness...I'm sure she will be concerned with fashion soon enough. Creativity is what we encourage right now.

Made of Chocolate

This is Halle and Issac during our camping trip this past July....he is the son or dear friends Josh and Dena.  Unfortunately, Josh and Dena live TOO far away.....it's at least a three hour drive for us to reach their house.  We certainly don't see each other nearly enough.  We keep up via e-mail and Facebook & lots of text messages.  Just last week I got the cutest text from Dena.  She had been reading a book about Abraham Lincoln to Isaac, while reading the book he stopped Dena and said, "Some of those guys are made of chocolate....like Halle!!" The next day he added that only her face was made of chocolate because her hands are pink!  HEHE!!  Oh Isaac Lawrence....we love you!!

BIG Girl Bed

A few weeks ago we moved Halle into her "BIG Girl Bed"...it's a twin size bed that was mine.  So, that makes it pretty special....Daddy painted the headboard bright red to match Hal's room and we got some new sheets too.  We don't quite have all the bedding yet.  Nana is going to help Mommy make a duvet cover, but...she's been really busy lately preparing for her new grandson that will arrive sometime in early December.  She made the cutest bedding for the little guy's crib!  For the first two nights we climbed into bed with Hal and laid with her until she fell asleep.  Then, on the third night, she stayed all by herself...HOORAAY!!  Well, I 'd like to say she's done that ever since, but...that is not the story!  AND...certainly would not be truthful if I said that!  It's a struggle...we're making it.  Isn't parenting great?  Nothing has ever stretched me as much as being a Mommy has.  Here are some pictures to commemorate this BIG step in Hal's little life.....

She LOVED helping Daddy put her bed together and was just GIDDY with excitement over this BIG change.  I found her on Sunday morning sleeping totally sideways in her bed...good thing she didn't fall out!  She loved to do this in her crib too, but...she had become way too tall!