Friday, November 20, 2009

Just because

I should be making cookies, folding laundry and cleaning my house, but...I'm not! Because for a few weeks now this has really been on my heart. Often I will think of something I want to post about and mull it over for weeks on end. I want my posts to be meaningful and really want to express how I'm feeling, but...sometimes, it just doesn't come out right. I'm hoping and praying this will not be one of those times. Just recently, two very good friends of mine have delivered new babies! Because I love them and their families I have made meals for both of them. Also, recently I have become acquainted (through Facebook) with a sweet gal I graduated with who, like me, has experienced loss in her life. She and her husband have also experienced infertility, with her most recent loss just months ago. She has quickly become someone I treasure corresponding with. You see, when you've gone through infertility and loss you gravitate to others who have been through what you have. They are the ones who understand what you have been through and why you feel the way you do. This gal, let's just call her "A" and her husband have also adopted a daughter. We have a huge connection there as well. A few weeks ago,"A" congratulated me for being able to make meals for my friends and spend time with them and their new babies. I thought about this and wondered how it could be such and accomplishment? I quickly realized that "A" was where I had been at one time. I would never have been able to do this when I was SMACK in the middle of our TTC'ing journey. It hurt...and it hurt A LOT! I couldn't even look at another pregnant woman without hanging my head and crying!! Jesus took that from me....He mended my broken heart and gave me a gift! I shared with "A" that it was when I gave my infertility over to Jesus that I felt free....and after sharing this with Aaron he reminded me of something else. When the focus is taken off of oneself it is so much easier. And, to be very honest with is so healing for me. Not to mention the snuggles I get...who wouldn't like snuggling with new little people?? My Jesus has given me a gift....that is serving & giving! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to make meals and bake for others. I would spend my life savings (right now that's not much) on others. Not only is that gift God given, it's been passed down through three generations. My Mom is the very same way, and her Mom, my Grandma Rose taught her this gift. I'm thankful, very thankful for these women in my life. I wish my Grandma Rose was here today...she would love to see this in action!! So, "A", I hope you don't mind me sharing this. I'm praying Jesus blesses you with an unexpected gift...I'm praying you'll get to the place where you can spend time with others who are pregnant and love on their would do an incredible job!!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

My *best* friend

Just yesterday I received the BEST message on my cell phone. That was from my BFF Jess! She just told me she was thinking about me!! I loved that...she also said she despised Facebook...that's because all her dear friends don't post on their blogs anymore because of it!! So, in honor of my dear friend I'm going to try and do better. She and I have been friends since we really didn't know we were friends. We grew up in the same church, in the same nursery doing the same silly things...we are six months apart and were in the same grade in school. Even though we live in the same county, we don't see *nearly* enough of each other. Living at opposite ends of the county just doesn't work well. She is an AMAZING Homeschooling Mama of four kiddos, Jake 9, Savannah 8 and twin boys, Honor & Justice that turned 1 in August. We have seen each other through lots and lots of ups and downs in our lives. We went shopping for training bras together, ok...I already had mine I just went along to give moral support....stole road signs together...I wasn't in my right boyfriend and I had just broke up, that's my excuse...wore more make-up at age 12 then we do now...gotta love the bright blue & green mascara....went along with all the fads including stirrup pants and long sweaters as well as matching shirts from the "Cube" to start off our high school years. I remember riding in her blue Chevy Luv to a District Basketball game and scrounging through her ash tray for enough change to buy two "Cheeseburger All-American" Meals. She has been with me through the death of my Dad and my infertility and she was one of the first to call me after learning about Halle Grace. She makes me smile and challenges me in my faith. She knows how to put me in my place gently, when I most need it. She has loved me through ALL stages of my life. Jess is one of those friends who could move away (she did right after high school) for years and when she comes is like she's never been gone. You pick up right where you left off!! I can count on her to eat my Snickerdoodles, Mac-N-Cheese & Monster Cookies. She also got me in big trouble, I had to make dinner for a week, when I was in High School. I said our dinner looked like dog food....she told my Mom I said dog *poop*...not so good!! AND...guess what I still love her!! I love her so much I had to dig up this picture of her and I on her wedding day.....I wish I had a picture of the two of us together now! We're going to work on that....I love you Jessica Mary!!! Thanks for reading my blog......xoxoxoxoxox