Friday, November 20, 2009
I should be making cookies, folding laundry and cleaning my house, but...I'm not! Because for a few weeks now this has really been on my heart. Often I will think of something I want to post about and mull it over for weeks on end. I want my posts to be meaningful and really want to express how I'm feeling, but...sometimes, it just doesn't come out right. I'm hoping and praying this will not be one of those times. Just recently, two very good friends of mine have delivered new babies! Because I love them and their families I have made meals for both of them. Also, recently I have become acquainted (through Facebook) with a sweet gal I graduated with who, like me, has experienced loss in her life. She and her husband have also experienced infertility, with her most recent loss just months ago. She has quickly become someone I treasure corresponding with. You see, when you've gone through infertility and loss you gravitate to others who have been through what you have. They are the ones who understand what you have been through and why you feel the way you do. This gal, let's just call her "A" and her husband have also adopted a daughter. We have a huge connection there as well. A few weeks ago,"A" congratulated me for being able to make meals for my friends and spend time with them and their new babies. I thought about this and wondered how it could be such and accomplishment? I quickly realized that "A" was where I had been at one time. I would never have been able to do this when I was SMACK in the middle of our TTC'ing journey. It hurt...and it hurt A LOT! I couldn't even look at another pregnant woman without hanging my head and crying!! Jesus took that from me....He mended my broken heart and gave me a gift! I shared with "A" that it was when I gave my infertility over to Jesus that I felt free....and after sharing this with Aaron he reminded me of something else. When the focus is taken off of oneself it is so much easier. And, to be very honest with you...it is so healing for me. Not to mention the snuggles I get...who wouldn't like snuggling with new little people?? My Jesus has given me a gift....that is serving & giving! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to make meals and bake for others. I would spend my life savings (right now that's not much) on others. Not only is that gift God given, it's been passed down through three generations. My Mom is the very same way, and her Mom, my Grandma Rose taught her this gift. I'm thankful, very thankful for these women in my life. I wish my Grandma Rose was here today...she would love to see this in action!! So, "A", I hope you don't mind me sharing this. I'm praying Jesus blesses you with an unexpected gift...I'm praying you'll get to the place where you can spend time with others who are pregnant and love on their babies....you would do an incredible job!!