Tee Ball!!

 Batting for the first time!!  Not bad!

 Paige gets in on the action while Halle demonstrates "ready" position!

 Cutest little cheerleader, Payton!

The fearless "Coach Lisa".  Seriously, this woman is a Saint.  And so, so good with these kids.  Thank you Jesus for blessing us with her!!  

Tee Ball 2013

My Girl

This is my sweet, silly, sassy, sensitive little girl  And her cousin, Sophie.  The is is a rare shot of Halle while she's somewhat still.  That happens never.  Well, almost never.  A few Saturday's ago we celebrated my Grandma Carla's life.  Halle and Sophie's Great Grandma. These two cooked up some trouble, but....mostly fun at the potluck after the service.  When I list the above qualities of Halle, they fit her to a "T"...or should I say "S"??  Either way.  She keeps us moving, disciplining and often times hiding our laughter.  She can be so sassy (I'm sure she did not get that from me!) yet so sensitive.  She is an impeccable judge of what a person is like, even at her young age of 4 1/2. Her Nana mentioned this to me this weekend and I had to agree.  I believe she will hear from Jesus at a young age.  She has learned more about heaven in the last 2 years than I had known by the time I was in my twenties.  It's been a challenge for us lately as Halle repeatedly "misses" her Grampie (My Dad who she never met), Elliott & most recently her Birth Mother.  She is sad when we leave her cousins, Nana & Papa, Aunties, Uncles & Grammie.  On more than one occasion she has been crying over my Dad because he is in heaven.  I know Halle Grace, your Grampie would have LOVED you.  Each time we explain that Grampie is in heaven and that only way to get there is to ask Jesus in your heart to live forever.  I don't think she fully grasps that yet.  But, friends, she will.  This weekend she again exclaimed, "I miss Elliott".  We do too sweet girl!  "He's in my heart"...she said.  I added..."That's right, you can always carry him in your heart!"......with so much sincerity she says "But, I want to carry him in my arms!" I whole heartedly agreed. Then I look at Elliott's picture on our living room wall and again, I'm thankful. For what his life stands for.  For our Jesus who blessed us with that sweet little boy who fit in my hand perfectly. And for his big sister,  Halle Grace and her sweet sensitivity.

A GREAT gift...and a much needed Update

Adoption is a gift....given straight to us by our Jesus.  As we delve into this process again we have been reminded of His faithfulness and promises yet again.  I shouldn't be surprised.  God is molding and shaping us as a family.  Yesterday He reminded us, ever so gently, that He is in control.  And unfortunately, we are not.  When we first initiated contact with our Adoption Agency, almost 11/2 years ago the wait for a child was less than a year.  We took our time readying ourselves emotionally to bring another baby into our home.  We were grieving our sweet Elliott and needed the extra time to heal.  We have now finished most of our paperwork and just need some time to clean out the baby's room.  The next step? Welcoming our Social Worker into our house for the home visit part of our home study.

The Agency is only asking we write a letter to the prospective Birth Mother and prepare a Profile (a photo album of sorts).  Yesterday I e-mailed our contact at the Agency and asked for specifics on the Profile and letter....I needed to make sure the requirements were the same as they had been when we prepared one for Halle's adoption.  I was surprised and a little bit disappointed, when she answered back with the specifics and then gently informed us that the wait time for a child had changed from 9-12 months to now 18-24 months.  Margaret (our contact) had told us that more and more Mom's are choosing to parent their children.  That initially sounds great.  We want Mom's to keep their babies...if they are fit and willing to do so.  It also breaks our hearts to think of all these children who may end up in the Foster care system because their Mommy's end up being unable to care for them.  I panicked a little.  Ok...maybe more than that.  Thoughts swirling in my head...I quickly forwarded the e-mail to Aaron and kept him in the loop. We could do two things in this situation.  Panic more.  Or press in to our Jesus.  We chose the second option.  Aaron reminded me that this doesn't change our situation at all.  We still are not in control.  Only HE is.  You would think through all we've been through I would remember this.  Um.  Not so much, I guess.  He knows who our next child will be.  He will knit that child together in it's Birth Mother's womb, before it arrives here and becomes part of our "Forever Family".  Only He knows that timeline.  More patience.  More faith.  More of His story to tell.

This morning I woke up hopeful, excited.  Because, more than anything, I know Jesus knows.  He has a plan, even if doesn't fit into ours. Maybe, the timeline will change.  Maybe it won't.  It doesn't matter.  We're here.  Waiting...ready and willing to do what our Jesus wants us to do.  I know without a shadow of a doubt, He will use this to grow us more.  And more. And more.  Bringing us closer to Him.

The Quilt

Yes.  The quilt.  This is Elliott's.  It was given to us by our church at his Memorial Service.  It is so special and one of the only tangible things I have that is his alone.  It sat in a hidden place for about a year or so.....when I took it out I was having a particularly hard day.  One where the tears wouldn't stop and thoughts of my sweet boy were so vivid and clear.  Really, I don't know why I waited so long.  I remember when Pastor Kurt handed that quilt to me at the service.  Explaining that when we had a hard day we should wrap this around us and let His love hold us.  It worked.  I really just wanted to hold something that was his.  In my arms.  Tight.  The blanket smelled a little musty like that hidden closet and I washed it later that day.  AND....now it stays under my pillow.  I know it's there and somehow it makes me feel just a little bit closer to my boy.  The one who's picture hangs on my living room wall and fills my heart with joy.....knowing that when I get to Heaven one day.  He'll be there.  March 3 passed a few weeks ago and you know what?  I made it.  I chose JOY over sorrow knowing that Elliott was with the one who created him and holds everything in His hands.  He is faithful friends.  I know that this journey has not been an easy one, but...I wouldn't change it.  Yes, I would change the outcome, more than anything I wish he was here with us.  But, Jesus is molding me through all of this.

He has brought people into my life when I needed them most.  My friend Trisha and I share the bond of having lost our children too soon. Both in the same month, as Megan and Elliott have birthdays just one day apart.  She and I did not grow up together, attend the same church when young or even go to the same school.  Yes, we do go to the same church now.  But, we have a bond and our friendship is growing...and I love it.  She is one of the people that really, truly understands me and what I have been through.  Our Jesus blesses us when we are together.  And, our girls, both age four love to play together.  Well, most times.  They have very similar personalities and sometimes that doesn't mix well.  But, they too are learning and sharing...and growing.  Together.  And you know what?  That blesses me.

The Pioneer Woman....Oh How I love THEE.

If I could, and believed in this silly sort of stuff....I would be Ree Drummond in my next life. That's right.  The Pioneer Woman for those of you who don't know.  AND....if you don't, you are seriously missing out.  She is seriously the best....from her red hair (yes, I'm very partial) to her swing tops and so cute cowboy boots.  And...she lives on a ranch in Oklahoma in the middle of no where.  We call my In-Law's house "The Ranch" and my Father-in-Law has a handful of horses....will that work??  This girl can cook....let me tell you.  Her recipes are more than loved at our house.  She makes great comfort food.....some fancy stuff too, and every.single.thing. that I have tried has been a hit with my lovely husband.  Her  Meatloaf, wrapped in bacon and covered in a spicy ketchup sauce, her Sloppy Joes (sorry Mom, I like hers better!), Chicken spaghetti, Salisbury Steak & Beef with Snow Peas.  Just typing all of this makes me so hungry.  Do you like stew?  I really normally don't, but....her Stew with Beer & Paprika rocked my socks off.  It renewed my love of stew....and my husband could not be more happy with that.  Check out her website/blog and by all means, buy yourself not just one, but...both of her cookbooks. Watch her show on Saturday mornings on the Food Network. And as I told my friend Jess, "Cook this stew and your husband will want to marry you all over again!"  Yes, friends....it's seriously that good.