The BIG Six!!

Today Halle Grace, you turn SIX.  I can hardly believe it.  You, sweet girl, made us a Mommy & Daddy for the first time.  From the time you were placed in your Daddy's arms, we knew you were exactly where you needed to be.  To this day, you are your Daddy's biggest fan.  You fill our lives with laughter, so much laughter.  As you have gotten older you say the most silly things.  And we love to hear them!  You dance like no one is looking and I hope that never, ever changes.  You are embracing Kindergarten and school with vigor.  I love to see you waving to friends when you arrive and your smile as you see them.  This girl is reading.  My goodness. I know I didn't read until I was in first grade.  The other night you read one of your books to Daddy and I and we smiled as we listened to you.  More than anything, we love to hear your grow and learn knew things. This is a JOY to us.  You are fierce and passionate about your little sister.  Oh, I wish I could post some pictures of the two of you together.  You love her like no other and can make her giggle at the drop of a hat.  The smiles she gives you are so sweet and loving.  She knows who you are big Sissy.  Your ear for music is uncanny and hearing you worship our Jesus is one of my very favorite things, ever.  When I can't find you in the house the first place I look is in the garage with your Daddy.  I'm sure you are the only 6 year old girl that put a hole in her Super Hero cape by riding your Daddy's creeper like a skateboard.  I'm surprised we haven't visited the ER yet needing stitches or a cast for broken bones. You have changed the brake pads on the car and helped Daddy with the Bronco.  Thank goodness this year you are starting to try some new foods.  We still struggle to get you to eat.  But, you'd never guess by looking at our tall, healthy, so beautiful girl.  

Halle, we pray this next year brings you closer to Jesus.  That you become more aware of who He is and can be in your life.  That you embrace SIX whole-heartedly.  Fill this year full of memories, learning and loving.  Sing, dance and smile.  Hold your head up high, sweet girl.  Our Jesus made you unique and beautiful and He didn't skip a beat.  We are so thankful for you and the blessing you are in our lives.  

Love you sweet girl, 

Daddy & Mommy

More of our journey with Lucy

I shared with you all how Lucy was placed in a foster home for two nights with the Blake family. While we were in Abilene they invited us over to share a dinner with them.  What a joy that was. CV and Shelly got to share their hearts with us and we got to share our lives with them.  This family has two grown children (and two super cute Grandkids!) and lovingly welcomes littles into their Foster Home.  The first five foster children they had in their home were boys and…they all attended their daughter's wedding a few years ago.  I saw that picture on the coffee table in their home and thought it was familiar to me.  YES.  It was on the cover of our Agency's news letter. They showed us an extra room in their house which holds 8X10 photos of all their foster children, with the name they gave them (alphabetical, named after cities and counties in Texas) and a ceramic plaque with both their feet and hand print that CV had made for each of them.  A large bulletin board is there as well, filled with cards, pictures and anything else they have received from their littles. We could not have asked for a better place for little Lucy.  HIS handprints were all over this.  Do you want to hear more??  Lucy was born on her Uncle Brian's birthday and was placed with us on Kiana the Great's Gotcha Day.  She was due on the very same day as her big brother Elliott.  Becca, our Social Worker from Christian Homes attends the very same church as our good friends, The Andrew's….and she works with Kristi every single Wednesday night at the mid-week service.

Friends, never doubt that Jesus has HIS hands in every.single.thing. you do.  When we told Christian Homes that we would be willing to be placed with a baby that the Birth Mother wanted to see in person each year we stepped out in faith and trusted that Jesus had our best interest at heart.  We knew that if it was supposed to happen our Jesus would work it all out, the money for visits, the timing everything. Lucy's whole adoption has been covered repeatedly in prayer.  Many family and church members (they are also our family) prayed fervently for her little life.  My husband wept tears in the rocking chair in her nursery.  One of good friends had a prophetic dream about her life.  This was meant to be.  We have received an outpouring of funds to cover her adoption and feel so very blessed by all of it.  Our Jesus has an incredible plan for our Lucy Faith.  Sometimes all you need to do is jump and trust.

Lucy Faith

Last I left you all I was sad, broken and frustrated.  But, never fear my friends.  Our Jesus is ever faithful and He works in miracles and so many cool, amazing ways.  One day after I posted that last message we received a phone call from our social worker in Texas…I missed the call, but the message went something like this, "It's Becca from Christian Homes….she signed the papers. Just wondering when you'd like to come pick up your baby!"  Needless to say, the wedding we had been super excited to attend (We love you Jason, Karm & Kenz!) was quickly forgotten and I rushed first back to my work to share the news and let them know I would not be in on Monday. On the way home I called Aaron repeatedly, but…he was at an appointment and I had to leave a message.  I called everyone I knew and shared our incredible joy, Lucy Faith was coming home to her Forever Family.  We packed our bags that night and Daddy booked us a flight for the next day…destination TEXAS, to meet our sweet girl.  Big Sister Halle was super duper excited to fly on an airplane for the first time she remembered.  Our Halle girl is a so hard to wake up in the morning, let me say, this was one of the first times she jumped up out of bed quickly!

Lucy had been placed in a temporary foster home the day her Birth Mommy signed the papers. A home filled with love and grace and such incredible Godly people.  Just a little background on this.  Just days before I had been texting with my friend Kristi, who lives in Abilene and welcomed us gladly into house for a week, she mentioned the Blake's to me and said if Lucy's Birth Mommy ended up placing her see if she could be placed with this family until we arrived.  Guess what? When we arrived in Texas I got a text from an unknown number.  It was Lucy's Foster Mom. Yep. It was the Blake's.  Our Jesus knew. More on this incredible family later.  And more on our journey with Lucy.  Her sweet Birth Mommy & brother DJ, the people we came in contact with and HIS fingerprints which were all over this.


We can not post pictures of our Lucy until her adoption is finalized.  For now, you may see a lot of her hands and feet.

Broken

We're broken.  Sad. Angry. Confused.  And so many more other feelings.  It was on February 3 that I received an e-mail from our Adoption Agency asking if we would allow our profile to be shown to a prospective match.  I nearly drove off the road when I saw it. For the record, I was driving, but only glanced at it and read the rest later when I arrived at my destination.  Aaron and I talked it over and agreed we were more than ok with the stipulations that Birth Mother has requested.  We knew that if our Jesus was in this He would allow ALL of it to come to fruition.  I e-mailed back the agency and we began praying.  That if it was His will the Birth Mother would choose us.  If not, that the perfect family would be chosen for this baby who was already growing in our hearts.  A week later I came home to another e-mail asking that we call the Agency ASAP.  There was a huge snowstorm going on in Texas and they needed our phone number….I responded with our phone number and moments later, my phone rang.  We confirmed a phone meeting the next day to have the Birth Mother "presented" to us.  This is where they read history to you about said Birth Mother. We, of course, were more than excited. The next day Aaron and I meant at his work and listened intently as they presented this precious Birth Mother to us.  Her story, so unlike Halle's.  We fell in love with her and the baby girl that was yet to be born.  Maybe I wear my heart on my sleeve.  But, our Jesus' has his fingerprints all over this.  The baby was due on March 6.  Yes, Elliott's original due date.  I had been praying that somehow that would come into the adoption picture.  I wasn't sure what it would look like, but…it was going to be there.  It would be our sign, from Jesus.  Not only that, but said Birth Mother has a 15 month old son who was living with her in the Maternity Apartments at our Agency.  At Christmas the Agency had posted on FB asking if anyone would like to purchase toys for children living in these apartments.  I quickly answered yes and was matched with a one year old boy.  Yes, that was her son.  He received a Christmas present from us.  Two days later I had a short 15 minute conversation with Birth Mom and felt as though I could just sit down and chat with her…I was encouraged and excited to meet this Woman in person when our sweet baby girl was born.  A few bumps in the road came after…..Birth Mom was out of contact with the agency for a few days, we fretted, prayed and worked through it.  She arrived back to the Agency and three days later I received the phone call that she was in labor, but…was not sure she could follow through with the adoption.  My heart stopped.

Now, it's three days later.  Baby Girl has been born and she is with her Birth Mom, who has nothing.  No home of her own, no family, no money and I'm assuming no clothes or necessary things to take care of this sweet girl.  I'm broken.  And at first I was MAD.  So stinkin' mad.  Even at Jesus.  I'm going to say it and be honest.  I know that's not how I'm supposed to feel.  Trust me.  I've made it through three miscarriages, infertility, the death of my Dad and son and bouts with anxiety and depression.  I know how to persevere.  I know what it means to press in and give to Him.  I know how to pray and intercede.  I know without a shadow of a doubt our Jesus is in control.  But, then I was not having it.  Even now, I'm struggling.  This to me seems like the hardest thing I have been through.  I was laying in bed last night wondering why??  I didn't even feel this way when we lost Elliott.  It hit me then.  I was going to see Elliott again.  I will see my Dad again and all three of my babies in Heaven.  I do not know if I will ever see this sweet baby girl that was to be our Lucy Faith.  Her clothes are washed and ready for her, the tiny diapers and socks.  The "Little Sister" and "Big Sister" shirts.  It's all so confusing. So we wait yet again.  The Birth Mom decided she would like to try parenting this sweet girl for two weeks.  All you parents out there know the first two weeks are the hardest.  I'm not sure how to pray and Aaron and I both feel defeated.  So, we're asking that you pray for us.  And would you please pray for our Halle?  She's confused too and I'm realizing we need to be careful what we say about this situation.  We want her to understand the the Birth Mother is making poor choices. That she doesn't know what is best.  I have had to explain this again this morning.  My anger has made it's way into Halle and I don't want that to keep happening.  Please, please pray for this sweet baby girl that will not have a future without her forever family.

Officially Waiting

My heart is full of anticipation.  I can say right now I have not one bit of uneasiness at all about our adoption.  It's true.  Praise the Lord for this.  I know, that I know, that I know....our Jesus is in control.  Is it easy to give up our control?  Absolutely not.  Is it a struggle for me, daily?  Yes.  Have I learned over the last almost two years that He will always be in control.  Abso-stinkin'-lutely.  He is the Almighty, the Great I am...the Redeemer.  AND...His grace is sufficient for me.  As of about three weeks ago, all our paperwork has been turned in to our adoption agency and we are officially "waiting" for that very special Birth Mother to choose us.  Doesn't that make you just giddy??  It does me.  Sometimes, I try to be very nonchalant about it.  Oh, it's no big deal.  We're just waiting to add another member to our family.  One that our Jesus has picked out just for us.  My goodness.  Some say waiting is the hardest part, and you know what, it well could be.  But, I have resolved that it's not going to be.  So, I press in to Jesus because I know He is the giver of our gift.  Would you please pray for a few things for us??

• HIS timeline.  That's right.  We have been told this process may take anywhere from 18-24 months.  That is a quite a bit longer than we waited for Halle.  But, we know that He is control and truly He knows best which child is right for us and when that said child will become a part of our family.
• The Birth Mother.  For wisdom, guidance and His grace.  That she would feel loved and appreciated and know that she is sacrificing so much, but giving us the "Best Gift Ever".
• Financing.  We have applied for a grant and it may be up to ten weeks before we hear back from then.  We know that our Jesus will provide, but...it never hurts to have the extra prayers.
• For our Halle.  She is super, duper beyond excited to be a BIG sister.  In her almost 5 years she has been a part of a lot emotionally.  She has watched her Mommy carry her little brother and not bring that same brother home from the hospital.  She knows where he is and has a greater understanding of Heaven.  But, bringing a new little person to her home may put a wrench in to her seemingly "I'm the only child" attitude.  We plan on taking Halle with us to meet her new brother/sister.  We would love to visit with her Foster family as well as maybe her Birth Mother (if she is willing).  Pray for our sensitive little girl's heart.  This may be a lot for her to take in.  
• Our stay in Texas  We have to wait for some paperwork to be filed and approved after the baby is placed with us.  This can go super fast (it was less than a week with Halle) or super slow.  We'd like the quicker route, pretty please.  Aaron only has so much time off and would love to be there with us.    

I know for some, you may think this premature.  We haven't been matched yet and we just turned our paperwork in.  Nope.  That baby is growing in our hearts and it's never too early to share with others your needs and how to pray for them.  And I know that He is faithful!

A GREAT gift...and a much needed Update

Adoption is a gift....given straight to us by our Jesus.  As we delve into this process again we have been reminded of His faithfulness and promises yet again.  I shouldn't be surprised.  God is molding and shaping us as a family.  Yesterday He reminded us, ever so gently, that He is in control.  And unfortunately, we are not.  When we first initiated contact with our Adoption Agency, almost 11/2 years ago the wait for a child was less than a year.  We took our time readying ourselves emotionally to bring another baby into our home.  We were grieving our sweet Elliott and needed the extra time to heal.  We have now finished most of our paperwork and just need some time to clean out the baby's room.  The next step? Welcoming our Social Worker into our house for the home visit part of our home study.

The Agency is only asking we write a letter to the prospective Birth Mother and prepare a Profile (a photo album of sorts).  Yesterday I e-mailed our contact at the Agency and asked for specifics on the Profile and letter....I needed to make sure the requirements were the same as they had been when we prepared one for Halle's adoption.  I was surprised and a little bit disappointed, when she answered back with the specifics and then gently informed us that the wait time for a child had changed from 9-12 months to now 18-24 months.  Margaret (our contact) had told us that more and more Mom's are choosing to parent their children.  That initially sounds great.  We want Mom's to keep their babies...if they are fit and willing to do so.  It also breaks our hearts to think of all these children who may end up in the Foster care system because their Mommy's end up being unable to care for them.  I panicked a little.  Ok...maybe more than that.  Thoughts swirling in my head...I quickly forwarded the e-mail to Aaron and kept him in the loop. We could do two things in this situation.  Panic more.  Or press in to our Jesus.  We chose the second option.  Aaron reminded me that this doesn't change our situation at all.  We still are not in control.  Only HE is.  You would think through all we've been through I would remember this.  Um.  Not so much, I guess.  He knows who our next child will be.  He will knit that child together in it's Birth Mother's womb, before it arrives here and becomes part of our "Forever Family".  Only He knows that timeline.  More patience.  More faith.  More of His story to tell.

This morning I woke up hopeful, excited.  Because, more than anything, I know Jesus knows.  He has a plan, even if doesn't fit into ours. Maybe, the timeline will change.  Maybe it won't.  It doesn't matter.  We're here.  Waiting...ready and willing to do what our Jesus wants us to do.  I know without a shadow of a doubt, He will use this to grow us more.  And more. And more.  Bringing us closer to Him.

So....the online silent auction is now open and the bidding has begun.  I don't want you, my bloggy friends to miss out.  Hop on over there and bid on your favorite thing.  AND...help us bring home our baby!

Adoption Fundraiser Update

Well, we changed things up a little.  We just really did not get enough response on our auction/dinner.  Tickets were not selling and we were getting anxious & nervous.  So, we made the decision to change to an online auction.  This will begin on Friday July 27 and run for a week.  You can bid from your own home and do some window shopping before.  Maybe even a sneak peek??  We'll see.

Tickets for Fundraiser!

Some more information.  I think I wasn't very clear....thanks Janelle for letting me know!  You can purchase tickets from me.  Please leave your name and contact information in the comments I can get back to you.  I'm pretty sure I have this set up so even "anonymous" readers can post comments. If you would just like to make a donation towards our adoption you can use the Paypal link on the right hand side of the blog!! Thanks!!

Dinner/Silent Auction...Adoption Fundraiser!

This is what I've been working on for a few months now! Tickets are now on sale...contact me if you need one...or two...or heck, how about TEN???  The Mulder's are our neighbors and we are so excited to be working on this with them.  Please help us bring our babies home.  Even if you can't come you can still buy tickets.  How you say?  Well, I just happen to have a handy PayPal link here on my blog.  Thank you in advance for your help and prayers.  We covet them.

Adoption Fund

It's time folks.  We will be starting the process again soon to adopt.  Without a shadow of a doubt, we know our Jesus has called us to do this again.  We are extremely excited and can not wait to fill our home with another sweet little person.  How can you help? As we walk this journey again we will need lots and lots of support and prayer.  We are calling all prayer warriors to stand by us and uphold us.  The ups and downs of adoption can be somewhat daunting.  With the unexpected bills from my hospital stay and Elliott's burial costs we are strapped financially.  But, we have faith that God will bring us the funds we need.  If you would like to help out in this way I have updated the Paypal link on the sidebar of our blog....you do not need a Paypal account and may donate by credit card if you wish. If you choose to remain anonymous (Paypal does not allow for this), but...would like to help out you can also mail a check (please reference our name in the note field) directly to our Adoption Agency at the address here:

Christian Homes and Family Services
Attn:  Margaret Ballew
1202 Estates Dr.
Abilene, TX 79602

Thank you for your continued love and support.  We appreciate each and every one of you. Stay tuned for some adoption fundraisers...namely tutus and personalized t-shirts!

Wrestling

In my mind lately I've been wrestling with a few things.  Praying through them...talking with Aaron.  After, I decided this was silly and why was I keeping this all inside when my husband may very well feel the same way?  I needed to talk with Jesus....and rest in HIM.  I'm sure you're wondering what I've been wrestling with.  Well, should we or should we not try again to grow our family the conventional way....with me carrying that baby in my belly?  Right after Elliott I was so ready to be done...and move on to adoption.  We even had a phone conversation with our adoption agency.  We were ready.  I don't know what happened after that.  I'm guessing it was that mean old doubt.  Creeping in.  Who was I to decide what God was going to do in our lives??  Did we have a right to make this decision?  Would others think we were selfish?  Are we without faith?  I read blogs of women who had lost their first babies near the same time as me and now were pregnant again.  They were required to be on bed rest for enormous amounts of time, living near hospitals.  This could be me.  Could I do that??  Leave my home, my daughter, my husband and my job?  Just to carry our child knowing even that may not work.  The more I thought about it the more I wrestled. Did I want to be pregnant again?  Holding my breath for the first 12, but more likely, 20 weeks?  Would I have gestational diabetes again? Could I even get pregnant?

Finally, last Saturday I sat down and talked with Aaron.  I approached the subject with a big lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. "Are we making the right choice?  Should we stop trying?"  His answer was quick and without hesitation.  "Yes." He then explained that Jesus had spoken clearly to him a few Sundays ago at church.  Our Pastor had been talking about an impromptu offering we had taken specifically for orphans....to feed them, as the cost of this had gone up hugely and the organization that did so was very short of funds.  That Sunday we raised thousands of dollars for this very cause.  We gave money to that offering because Jesus had prompted Aaron to get cash back when at the bank a few days before that.  While our Pastor stood before the congregation thanking them our Jesus whispered to Aaron, "I'm proud of you both and the choices you have made...choosing adoption." I'm paraphrasing here as Aaron did when telling me, but...that was definitely the gist of the conversation.  The next day we went to church and it felt like signs from Jesus were everywhere.  Our Pastor mentioned adoption many times in his message.  But, he was speaking about how God adopted us into his family.  To me that was all I needed.  I knew without a shadow of a doubt what our Jesus wanted us to do.

We are passionate about adoption.  Not just because we are unable to carry biological children.  This is not just another means for us to grow our family.  As Christians, we all should be....Jesus clearly tell us to in James 1:27.  Just yesterday we received a newsletter from our adoption agency.  I poured over it and read how adoption had changed many lives.  I hope to share with you some of those stories.  As we approach CHRISTmas in two days, I am in awe of our Savior and all He has done for us.  Ever mindful that it all began with a little baby boy.  Our Jesus.

Easy??

Tuesday this week marked two whole months since we had said good-bye to our sweet Elliott.  I have to be honest and say I didn't even think of it...until about 4pm that day while I was sitting at my desk at work. Then it suddenly hit me.  It was December 13.  Two months ago I held my sweet boy for the first time and said good-bye to him as he joined his Grampie in heaven.  Even now, it so very fresh in my mind.  I'm sad.  My heart is heavy.  Others around me are pregnant and I'm so very happy and excited for them.  I truly, truly am.  So, dear friends and sweet sister-in-law if you are reading this....please, please do not think you must hide from me your joy of expecting another gift into your family. New life is precious.  So very so.  And...a miracle straight from our Jesus...whether those gifts are planned or not.  In fact, surprises are the very best.  Elliott was a huge surprise to us.  Maybe that's why it so very hard to grasp what is Jesus is planning here.  The plans he has for our family....I know they are good and just.  I know they are BIG.  Here again is where patience comes in.  Over and over our family has been hit with trials and tribulations.  So, when my husband was holding me as I sobbed on Tuesday night and my sweet little girl was asking me if I was sad because I missed Jesus (She has Christmas and Jesus on her brain...and that is fine by me!)....I wondered aloud "why can't anything be easy for us?"  I just can't get that part.  I watch as others around me are blessed beyond measure with a quiver-full....while we struggle to grow or family by one.  

After our third miscarriage I was so ready to stop the whole trying-to-conceive roller coaster...no more Dr's visits, infertility drugs or tears.   I had definitely prayed through all my feelings of "needing" to have a biological child.  Aaron and I had cried many, many tears over the loss of our three babies.  And talked much about our next step.  We joked as we filled out adoption paperwork where it asked about race.  To us, it did not matter...could we put purple?  Do you see my point?  Our arms ached to be filled with a little, breathing person.  One that Jesus had picked just for us.  It did not matter that this baby could very well be brown, have curly, curly hair and wouldn't look a thing like either one of us. Now, we are coming to the place again in our lives.  I, personally, am having to pray through those very same feelings again.  I'm not going to lie. It's a very, very hard place to be. I know my Jesus made me to be a Mommy...and my arms ache with wanting to hold a child. My child.  Let me just say I don't differentiate between biological and adopted.  Both Halle and Elliott are my children.  One grew in my heart and the other grew in my belly. I want to smell that sweet baby smell and wash those cute, tiny clothes.  And you know what?  I want a little boy.  Our girl needs a little brother, my husband needs someone to work in the garage with and pass his Bronco on to....a little boy to learn about tube amps and guitars....how everything works. Yes, Halle does love her Daddy's Bronco and she would probably work in the garage, gladly.  She will do anything if it includes spending uninterrupted time with her Daddy.  But, you understand my point.  I have his name picked out and I'm praying for him, specifically.  Jesus knows the desires of my heart.  But, that doesn't make this any easier.  Adoption involves much cost and prayer. The first we don't have much of, thankfully, the last we have lots and lots of, along with friends and family that will come along side us.  We spoke with our Adoption Agency last week and were encouraged by our sweet, kind contact Margaret.  But, the fact still remains....it will cost us money that we don't have to bring home our sweet baby.  This is how Jesus wants us to grow our family and we will gladly walk this road again....because he has asked us to do so.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" James 1:27

Wordless Wednesday--Meeting Halle for the FIRST time!

As long as I live I will not forget this moment.  It's frozen in my mind....the look on Halle's face as her Daddy held her.  Believe you me, she loves her Daddy with every ounce in her body!  He is her hero....November 19 is National Adoption Day and November is the month in which Halle came to live with us just three years ago.  This month brings back so many exciting, extraordinary memories for me.  I want to celebrate Halle and the the life her Mommy Michelle gave her.  We are so thankful for the gift of adoption!

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" James 1:27

Halle Grace

Two years ago on this date in Tyler, Tx this little girl was placed in my arms.  From that day on she has blessed my socks off!  That day just happened to be "National Adoption Day" in 2008 and while our family and friends in Washington were celebrating at the courthouse we were receiving the BEST gift EVER.  For as long as I live I will not forget that day....and when Halle is old enough her Daddy and I will tell her all about it and show her all the pictures we have.  Pictures of her Birth Mom and her Foster family....pictures we treasure.  I loved that the people who worked at the agency just grabbed our camera and began snapping pictures.  Because of this little girl we have learned what it is to be Parent's.....in my opinion, the HARDEST job one will ever have...and since Halle is TWO right now we are right in the middle of some of the worst days I have ever had.  BUT, when that little girl hugs me around my legs and says "Love you Mommy"....I melt.  I forget all the hard days I've had and remember Jesus has given us Halle as a gift.  He blessed us when her Birth Mom chose us after looking through many profiles....she gave her life and grew her in her tummy.  But, she so grew in our hearts!  I remember so clearly the day Bob from Christian Homes called my cell phone to tell us about this little girl.  I remember everyone in my office gathering around the computer as I pulled up her picture for the first time....I remember her Daddy's tears when he first laid eyes on her while she was in my arms and Halle looking up worried when Daddy fed her the very first bottle.  What an AMAZING journey we have been on!!  Thank you Jesus for blessing us with this little brown girl...we love her very much!!

Pictures from our FIRST day together

Our TEXAS Adoption Journey - Part 2

I had to go back and see where I left off. We had just received the phone call from Christian Homes and received the pictures of OUR daughter...Halle Grace. We made the necessary calls to family members right then and there at Aaron's work. I asked my Mom is she was ready to be a Grandma...she wasn't sure right then, I insisted she better figure it out....she now had a Granddaughter. Aaron's Mom cried.....as did almost everyone I talked to that I called. I called Miss Dena right away with the news...I knew she would want to know. Those moments I will treasure forever. I love all the enthusiasm we got from each and every person who loves us! I did go back to work that day, but...I don't think I got very much done!! Everyone at work gathered around as I pulled up the picture of our daughter....oh...it was so cute. We spent the next week preparing to leave for Texas. I washed more pink clothes than I had my WHOLE life. Everyone wanted to shower Halle with gifts. Grammie & Auntie Amber went shopping and bought practically a whole wardrobe. We packed our suitcases and really didn't know how long we would be gone. Aaron could only stay for a week so, we were praying we would be back in a week with Halle. AND...that would be Thanksgiving Day. During this time I contacted a friend of mine, Rachel. A friend I had only met over the internet through an infertility website I have posted on since 2005 when Aaron and I had begun the long journey of trying to conceive. Rachel lives very near Austin, TX and had offered her home for us to stay in. We chatted on the phone and it felt like I had known her FOREVER! If she lived here or I lived there we would so be friends forever!! We took Rachel up on her offer. The plan was this. We would fly into Dallas (we used air miles and could only fly into that airport)...drive to Tyler, stay there for three nights and drive to Austin to stay with Rachel and her family for as long as we needed. Wednesday night before we left neither Aaron nor I could sleep..we were so excited! Our flight left at the crack of dawn...5:40am...but, that didn't matter we were too excited. We arrived at the airport, empty infant car seat in tow, faces aglow. I can not tell you how many people asked about that empty car seat. It was a good lead-in for the story of Halle. Our flight to Texas was uneventful...for that we were glad! We arrived in Dallas and made our way to the rental car counter. Can I just tell you how glad I was to have my husband with me. He is so great with all of this stuff and had it planned out. We finally got our car and began our journey to Tyler...first stop..."Sonic"...at the time we didn't have one near us and we couldn't wait to experience that. We arrived in Tyler after a small detour. Well, this city has a two *loops* in it...everything is on a loop...kinda confusing, but...we finally found our way to our hotel. A Marriott of course, Residence Inn I think. It had a small sitting area, table & chairs and little kitchen. We we got into the room the "Pack-n-Play" was already set up for little Halle. That night we ate dinner at "Chili's"...that's another place we wished we had here. We just don't have one close enough! Aaron and I immediately noticed the Texas hospitality...we have NOTHING like it here in Washington. I wanted to take our waitress home with us!! HEHEHE! We wanted to get a good night's sleep as the next day we would meet Halle, her Birth Mom & her foster family. How does one prepare for that?? Well, we prayed a lot! AND...I didn't eat much breakfast the next morning...I was way too nervous. I spent time on the Hotel's computer the next morning updating this very blog and my Facebook status....the clock on the computer was wrong and I only had minutes to pack Halle's diaper bag and get to the car....and we were off to the agency to meet Halle Grace.....

The things kids say....

Our friends have just begun the processing of adopting...they are at the very beginning...deciding which agency, from where and all that good stuff. They recently moved from the town near us to about 1 hour away...so we haven't seen them in about a month. I received this message on Facebook from her and I just had to share it with you all......they have three kids and this is the conversation she was having with her two oldest the other day. I should probably tell you that they LOVE Halle and through our WHOLE journey of adoption they were praying for us and we knew it....we love this family so much!!!

I just had to tell you that as we've been looking at adoption agencies & discussing things, we haven't said much to our kids- knowing that it will be a long time before we would actually have a kiddo to bring home.

However, when the kids and I were talking about the difference between a baby growing in a mom's belly and getting to be a forever mom to a baby who grew in someone else's belly. I gave some examples of people we know who have adopted.

H's eyes got huge and he yelled, "Me want Halle! Me want baby Halle in our family!"
I explained that Halle already has a forever mom and dad. The disappointment was heartbreaking.
Then he said, "Me have lots of Halles?"
I said, "Do you mean that you want a baby like Halle? Smiley with brown skin and curly hair?"
He nodded "Lots and lots of baby Halles, Mom!"

I knew you'd appreciate that...I have a feeling if we have any more white babies our kids might be bummed :)

Our TEXAS Adoption Journey - Part 1

It's time...time for all you to hear our story of Halle Grace Benner. This story began a VERY LONG time ago....about four years ago really. Aaron and I had been trying to have a baby...it wasn't working and we were sad, disappointed and just plain mad about it all. BUT, before Aaron and I even were engaged we had talked about adoption. I have two cousins that are adopted, Aaron's Auntie Joy had given up a child (Sandy) for adoption...she is now a very important part of our family. AND...our dear friend Dena chose life for her daughter, Julia, when she chose adoption. So, adoption was not foreign to us. And I had already had many issues with my cycle and just had this "feeling' things might not be that easy. It was easy for us, choosing adoption that it is. It seemed natural. So, we set out to adopt. We did some research on adoption and as a lot of you may know...it was thoroughly overwhelming. Not an easy task. Along came "HIS Kids, Our Homes". This is an organization started by some dear friends of our's, Dave & Carrie Blaske. They attend our church and we are now in a small group with them. HIS Kids Our Homes was started to partner along side families in our community that are needing information about adoption & fostering. They also provide so much support to the families...even if it's just a kind word, hug or sweet note. Through HIS Kids Our Homes we met our amazingly wonderful social worker, JoAnn. She is the very best!! I'm not just saying that either. We truly loved working with her. When we met JoAnn we had just finished filling out our "pre" application for Christian Homes. We chose this agency because of our dear friends the "Thompson's". Dan and Cris have three African American children they adopted through domestic adoption. Their youngest, Ezekiel, was adopted through Christian Homes. We hadn't even been approved to begin the process. Here started our journey. We were approved and began filling out what seemed like MOUNTAINS of paperwork. Both Aaron and I procrastinate....I know, it's not a good quality to have, but...it's true. So, finally, one Sunday I just sat down at the kitchen table and began filling it all out. A lot of it was easy...initial here, fill in this blank. BUT...then we got to the hard stuff...the dreaded autobiography...we had one to fill out for JoAnn and one for Christian Homes. We did not want to mess up on this one. This is what the birth mother would read and through this she would choose us. WOW...that was some task. YES, we saved copies of EVERYTHING! In fact, we have everything scanned on our computer. On September 5, 2008 we were officially approved for the adoption. The agency had received all the necessary paperwork and reports. Our adoptive study had been completed and final approval was given for our family to adopt through Christian Homes. Such a milestone of this journey. AND...then on November 13, 2008 we received the "call" from Bob at Christian Homes. You can imagine my excitement when I looked at my cell phone buzzing at work and saw "Texas" on the caller ID. At the time I certainly didn't know very many people in Texas that would be calling me. It was the "call" we'd been waiting and longing for.....after than initial conversation with Bob I had to call Aaron which I did immediately. I think he almost dropped his phone. We planned a phone meeting at his work in about a 1/2 hour. After the second phone call we knew....Halle Grace was to be our daughter. This is the very first picture we received of her. Seriously, who couldn't love this little girl????

These pictures followed from her Foster Family.............................we LOVE them!!!!

Adoption Finalization!

On June 16, Halle Grace, forever became our daughter!! HOOOOORRRRAYYY!! Guess what, we're keeping her...there's no turning back now. We had family and friends to celebrate with us that day. We went for breakfast afterwards and just enjoyed the fact that she is now forever in our family. We praise our Heavenly Father for bringing her into our lives. What a precious, silly little girl she is. AND guess what? We wouldn't change that for the world! We love her just the way she is....sillyness and all!!

Grammie, Me, Aaron with Halle, Judge Uhrig, Nana

Halle just loved her pen!

Reviewing the documents...

Taking the oath....

Adoption Finalization!

Can we get a big "WOOT WOOT"??  We received an e-mail from our social worker yesterday about our court date for the finalization of Halle's adoption.  This is the day we have been waiting, waiting, waiting for....that day is Tuesday, June 16!  This also just happens to be Aaron's sister, Leah's birthday...so, there's no chance this day will be forgotten!  Of course, this means we will then be able to do a few things...take Halle out of the country, get her birth certificate AND....post pictures of her...here and on Facebook.  That has been the most difficult thing.  My blog post are few and far between because our lives are filled with Halle and frankly, it's not much fun just to talk about it.  I want you to see HER!!  So....stay tuned....