The BIG Six!!

Today Halle Grace, you turn SIX.  I can hardly believe it.  You, sweet girl, made us a Mommy & Daddy for the first time.  From the time you were placed in your Daddy's arms, we knew you were exactly where you needed to be.  To this day, you are your Daddy's biggest fan.  You fill our lives with laughter, so much laughter.  As you have gotten older you say the most silly things.  And we love to hear them!  You dance like no one is looking and I hope that never, ever changes.  You are embracing Kindergarten and school with vigor.  I love to see you waving to friends when you arrive and your smile as you see them.  This girl is reading.  My goodness. I know I didn't read until I was in first grade.  The other night you read one of your books to Daddy and I and we smiled as we listened to you.  More than anything, we love to hear your grow and learn knew things. This is a JOY to us.  You are fierce and passionate about your little sister.  Oh, I wish I could post some pictures of the two of you together.  You love her like no other and can make her giggle at the drop of a hat.  The smiles she gives you are so sweet and loving.  She knows who you are big Sissy.  Your ear for music is uncanny and hearing you worship our Jesus is one of my very favorite things, ever.  When I can't find you in the house the first place I look is in the garage with your Daddy.  I'm sure you are the only 6 year old girl that put a hole in her Super Hero cape by riding your Daddy's creeper like a skateboard.  I'm surprised we haven't visited the ER yet needing stitches or a cast for broken bones. You have changed the brake pads on the car and helped Daddy with the Bronco.  Thank goodness this year you are starting to try some new foods.  We still struggle to get you to eat.  But, you'd never guess by looking at our tall, healthy, so beautiful girl.  

Halle, we pray this next year brings you closer to Jesus.  That you become more aware of who He is and can be in your life.  That you embrace SIX whole-heartedly.  Fill this year full of memories, learning and loving.  Sing, dance and smile.  Hold your head up high, sweet girl.  Our Jesus made you unique and beautiful and He didn't skip a beat.  We are so thankful for you and the blessing you are in our lives.  

Love you sweet girl, 

Daddy & Mommy

Life

When I was a young girl attending High School in Lynden I never imagined I would be 39, married with two adopted children living in Sumas.  See, that wasn't my plan, but without a shadow of a doubt that was HIS plan.  Our Jesus has a way of doing that.  While in High School I went on a couple short term mission trips where I learned that not everyone lives the way we all did in Lynden.  Houses were shacks, floors were dirt and you couldn't even flush the toilet in some places.  The water stank of sulfur and we showered in our bathing suits on a cement slab with a garden hose.  I was a long way from home, but I loved every minute of it.  Plus, let's be honest I got my first ever real tan, that's rare for this redhead.

It's super easy for us to take all we have for granted.  I've been thinking about that lately.  You see, we live in a small condo with our two girls and all our stuff.  We do not have much more than a square patio for our outside area and the parking lot.  We are full to the gills.  That's speaking kindly.  My house is cluttered with baby toys, blankets, dishes and all we use to live in our space. That's right, we live here.  It is our place.  Ours.  I've learned that being content with what God has given you is so important.  When we moved some 9 years ago, we didn't plan on staying here for this long.  We wanted our daughter to start school in Lynden, but…that's not how it worked. Our Jesus has a plan. Halle loves her school, her Teacher and her friends.  She loves walking there each morning and riding the bus to her friends one day a week.  And you know what?  I love it too.

I think it's important to remember that your house, your car, your town and your money do not define you and make you who you are.  Your identity should be found in our Jesus.  He is the true "giver of life".  So, my house maybe small, cluttered and "in the boonies", we may not live in what some people call the "best" town, but…our Jesus placed us here for a reason.

**We snuck in while they were building our house and placed this over the door.  It's hidden, but…we know it's there**

More of our journey with Lucy

I shared with you all how Lucy was placed in a foster home for two nights with the Blake family. While we were in Abilene they invited us over to share a dinner with them.  What a joy that was. CV and Shelly got to share their hearts with us and we got to share our lives with them.  This family has two grown children (and two super cute Grandkids!) and lovingly welcomes littles into their Foster Home.  The first five foster children they had in their home were boys and…they all attended their daughter's wedding a few years ago.  I saw that picture on the coffee table in their home and thought it was familiar to me.  YES.  It was on the cover of our Agency's news letter. They showed us an extra room in their house which holds 8X10 photos of all their foster children, with the name they gave them (alphabetical, named after cities and counties in Texas) and a ceramic plaque with both their feet and hand print that CV had made for each of them.  A large bulletin board is there as well, filled with cards, pictures and anything else they have received from their littles. We could not have asked for a better place for little Lucy.  HIS handprints were all over this.  Do you want to hear more??  Lucy was born on her Uncle Brian's birthday and was placed with us on Kiana the Great's Gotcha Day.  She was due on the very same day as her big brother Elliott.  Becca, our Social Worker from Christian Homes attends the very same church as our good friends, The Andrew's….and she works with Kristi every single Wednesday night at the mid-week service.

Friends, never doubt that Jesus has HIS hands in every.single.thing. you do.  When we told Christian Homes that we would be willing to be placed with a baby that the Birth Mother wanted to see in person each year we stepped out in faith and trusted that Jesus had our best interest at heart.  We knew that if it was supposed to happen our Jesus would work it all out, the money for visits, the timing everything. Lucy's whole adoption has been covered repeatedly in prayer.  Many family and church members (they are also our family) prayed fervently for her little life.  My husband wept tears in the rocking chair in her nursery.  One of good friends had a prophetic dream about her life.  This was meant to be.  We have received an outpouring of funds to cover her adoption and feel so very blessed by all of it.  Our Jesus has an incredible plan for our Lucy Faith.  Sometimes all you need to do is jump and trust.

Lucy Faith

Last I left you all I was sad, broken and frustrated.  But, never fear my friends.  Our Jesus is ever faithful and He works in miracles and so many cool, amazing ways.  One day after I posted that last message we received a phone call from our social worker in Texas…I missed the call, but the message went something like this, "It's Becca from Christian Homes….she signed the papers. Just wondering when you'd like to come pick up your baby!"  Needless to say, the wedding we had been super excited to attend (We love you Jason, Karm & Kenz!) was quickly forgotten and I rushed first back to my work to share the news and let them know I would not be in on Monday. On the way home I called Aaron repeatedly, but…he was at an appointment and I had to leave a message.  I called everyone I knew and shared our incredible joy, Lucy Faith was coming home to her Forever Family.  We packed our bags that night and Daddy booked us a flight for the next day…destination TEXAS, to meet our sweet girl.  Big Sister Halle was super duper excited to fly on an airplane for the first time she remembered.  Our Halle girl is a so hard to wake up in the morning, let me say, this was one of the first times she jumped up out of bed quickly!

Lucy had been placed in a temporary foster home the day her Birth Mommy signed the papers. A home filled with love and grace and such incredible Godly people.  Just a little background on this.  Just days before I had been texting with my friend Kristi, who lives in Abilene and welcomed us gladly into house for a week, she mentioned the Blake's to me and said if Lucy's Birth Mommy ended up placing her see if she could be placed with this family until we arrived.  Guess what? When we arrived in Texas I got a text from an unknown number.  It was Lucy's Foster Mom. Yep. It was the Blake's.  Our Jesus knew. More on this incredible family later.  And more on our journey with Lucy.  Her sweet Birth Mommy & brother DJ, the people we came in contact with and HIS fingerprints which were all over this.


We can not post pictures of our Lucy until her adoption is finalized.  For now, you may see a lot of her hands and feet.

Broken

We're broken.  Sad. Angry. Confused.  And so many more other feelings.  It was on February 3 that I received an e-mail from our Adoption Agency asking if we would allow our profile to be shown to a prospective match.  I nearly drove off the road when I saw it. For the record, I was driving, but only glanced at it and read the rest later when I arrived at my destination.  Aaron and I talked it over and agreed we were more than ok with the stipulations that Birth Mother has requested.  We knew that if our Jesus was in this He would allow ALL of it to come to fruition.  I e-mailed back the agency and we began praying.  That if it was His will the Birth Mother would choose us.  If not, that the perfect family would be chosen for this baby who was already growing in our hearts.  A week later I came home to another e-mail asking that we call the Agency ASAP.  There was a huge snowstorm going on in Texas and they needed our phone number….I responded with our phone number and moments later, my phone rang.  We confirmed a phone meeting the next day to have the Birth Mother "presented" to us.  This is where they read history to you about said Birth Mother. We, of course, were more than excited. The next day Aaron and I meant at his work and listened intently as they presented this precious Birth Mother to us.  Her story, so unlike Halle's.  We fell in love with her and the baby girl that was yet to be born.  Maybe I wear my heart on my sleeve.  But, our Jesus' has his fingerprints all over this.  The baby was due on March 6.  Yes, Elliott's original due date.  I had been praying that somehow that would come into the adoption picture.  I wasn't sure what it would look like, but…it was going to be there.  It would be our sign, from Jesus.  Not only that, but said Birth Mother has a 15 month old son who was living with her in the Maternity Apartments at our Agency.  At Christmas the Agency had posted on FB asking if anyone would like to purchase toys for children living in these apartments.  I quickly answered yes and was matched with a one year old boy.  Yes, that was her son.  He received a Christmas present from us.  Two days later I had a short 15 minute conversation with Birth Mom and felt as though I could just sit down and chat with her…I was encouraged and excited to meet this Woman in person when our sweet baby girl was born.  A few bumps in the road came after…..Birth Mom was out of contact with the agency for a few days, we fretted, prayed and worked through it.  She arrived back to the Agency and three days later I received the phone call that she was in labor, but…was not sure she could follow through with the adoption.  My heart stopped.

Now, it's three days later.  Baby Girl has been born and she is with her Birth Mom, who has nothing.  No home of her own, no family, no money and I'm assuming no clothes or necessary things to take care of this sweet girl.  I'm broken.  And at first I was MAD.  So stinkin' mad.  Even at Jesus.  I'm going to say it and be honest.  I know that's not how I'm supposed to feel.  Trust me.  I've made it through three miscarriages, infertility, the death of my Dad and son and bouts with anxiety and depression.  I know how to persevere.  I know what it means to press in and give to Him.  I know how to pray and intercede.  I know without a shadow of a doubt our Jesus is in control.  But, then I was not having it.  Even now, I'm struggling.  This to me seems like the hardest thing I have been through.  I was laying in bed last night wondering why??  I didn't even feel this way when we lost Elliott.  It hit me then.  I was going to see Elliott again.  I will see my Dad again and all three of my babies in Heaven.  I do not know if I will ever see this sweet baby girl that was to be our Lucy Faith.  Her clothes are washed and ready for her, the tiny diapers and socks.  The "Little Sister" and "Big Sister" shirts.  It's all so confusing. So we wait yet again.  The Birth Mom decided she would like to try parenting this sweet girl for two weeks.  All you parents out there know the first two weeks are the hardest.  I'm not sure how to pray and Aaron and I both feel defeated.  So, we're asking that you pray for us.  And would you please pray for our Halle?  She's confused too and I'm realizing we need to be careful what we say about this situation.  We want her to understand the the Birth Mother is making poor choices. That she doesn't know what is best.  I have had to explain this again this morning.  My anger has made it's way into Halle and I don't want that to keep happening.  Please, please pray for this sweet baby girl that will not have a future without her forever family.